


The Nebula

by Name1



Series: Moving Forward [10]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Astronomy, Banter, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Romance, handsy idiots, idiots to lovers, tasteful smut?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23504680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Name1/pseuds/Name1
Summary: “Just get ready to open your eyes, Dune.” He tried to inject some humor because he feels exposed by this gesture, unsure if she will love or hate it or just call him an idiot. He wanted to do this for her, to give her this, an experience they could share together; but as he stands here, he feels dumb. She won’t possibly be impressed by this. This wasn’t useful or valuable. What the hell had he been thinking that this was something that would mean anything to her? He wanted this to be something he could give her as a sign of his affection, but now it just seems silly and cheap. Well, it’s too late to change his mind now.He swallows, feeling her relaxed warmth pressed all along his front and he uses that as courage to go through with it. “Do you remember on Sorgan, the first night when we were riding in the cart?”
Relationships: Baby Yoda & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV) & Cara Dune & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), Cara Dune & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), Cara Dune/The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)
Series: Moving Forward [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648918
Comments: 32
Kudos: 66





	1. Colors

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. Sorry for the delayed update. Work has been crazy and my schedule has been all over the place. This was supposed to be ~5K, but these handsy idiots turned it into something else. 
> 
> I apologize in advance for the slew of typos I'm still catching but I couldn't sit on this any longer without going nuts, so here it is!
> 
> Happy quarantine distraction to you all :)

She really wasn’t planning on starting the day with an argument, but she figured this one was long overdue. She had done a lot of thinking about their next steps and she had once again broached the topic with Din about her best idea to get them close to the New Republic, and by association, the last of the Jedi to see if they could provide a stable foundation for Bean to learn and grow. Din apparently didn’t agree with her assessment of their best chance going forward. She could turn herself in under the promise that Din get to speak with this Skywalker guy (who was supposed to be training jedi) about Bean’s powers. There was no other way a Mandalorian could get close to a Jedi, given the generations of animosity between their people. Better yet, Din could collect her bounty, learn about the Jedi and what it could mean for Bean, and maybe break her out of prison when it was all said and done with their coffers padded for years to come.

“Din, we’ve already had this conversation. It’s time to revisit it in case this business in Nevarro doesn’t work out.”

“That wasn’t a conversation before, that was you making a terrible joke.”

“I wasn’t joking Din. We should think about how it might work.”

“The answer is no.”

“Excuse me? Did you just make a decision about my life for me?” she says dangerously. He knows this could go badly for him if he doesn’t rephrase this.

“Of course not, stars Cara. What I meant to say was, ‘no this isn’t something you’ve decided’. That’s not how this works. This isn’t a decision that’s been made. I hear what you’re saying, I do, but we make decisions together.”

“Of course we do, but this isn’t me being selfish or trying for some power play and this isn’t some bullshit assertion of my independence. It’s what best for Bean. You can see _that_ at least right?”

“No, I can’t see that. What’s best for bean is you being _here_ ; holding him when he has a nightmare and feeding him breakfast until you’re wearing more of it than ended up in his mouth.”

“Look I’ve thought about this Din. Hear me out, please. Objectively, strategically.”

“Don’t ask me to watch when they force you on your knees and put a blaster to your head. I can’t do that. I can’t sleep at night knowing that I delivered you to them; that I walked you there with a smile on my face, that I agreed to this.”

“I’m tired of running Din. I’m tired of looking over my shoulder, but I could keep doing that forever if it was just us….But the thought that because of me, the kid is more at risk?” She shakes her head hard as if trying to will the horrible image out of her mind, “I can’t have that on my shoulders. What if they find him because of _me_?”

He feels like he’s suffocating. This is a nightmare. He thought having someone else love the kid could only be a good thing. She put herself in harm’s way for him all the time, but this…. _this_ wasn’t what he wanted. Trading herself like some ‘ _thing_ ’. Didn’t she see what she meant to him; to them? Of course not, because he was a coward.

“I would never go against your wishes when it’s about your life or what you think is right, but at least let us check out these leads before we even consider going down that horrible road if there’s even a chance there might be a better one we haven’t discovered yet.”

“Please,” he hears himself say.

He can barely swallow.

“Please, we’ll think of something else.”

“And if we can’t….?” she questions him, always playing devil’s advocate.

“Then we’ll come up with a plan _together_ that gives us the best chance of success and gives you a clean conscience at the same time.”

“Okay. You’re right. You know I hate it when you’re right.”

“But it won’t come to that. I won’t let it.” He won’t let her use jokes to distract him this time, as much as he wants nothing more than to forget about all this and just laugh with her again. This is important.

“I trust you,” she states, and it’s as if all the fight left her with those words. She trusts him, and it’s a gift he will never grow complacent with, one he will never take for granted. The way she looks at him in his eyes, visor or no, is like she’s looking right into his soul. He could never hide anything from her and he doesn’t want to try. Of course she trusts him, he could never lie to her. He trusts her too, more than he trusts himself at times. She’s always told him the truth, even when he didn’t want to hear it, and she always looked out for his best interests when he forgot to look out for his own. _What did he do to deserve her by his side all this time?_

“We’ll talk about this after we reach Nevarro and learn more about the players involved,” Din promises her, and he means it. They can talk this out, he knows it. They’ve always been a great team right from the very beginning, when they barely knew each other at all, but felt like they were already connected. With how far they’ve come since then, there was nothing they couldn’t do, nothing they couldn’t figure out together.

“Okay. I’m sure we’ll come up with something else.”

“We will,” he says with so much conviction he almost believes it’s possible. “I promise you.”

He sat with his arms around her, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

_Din felt as though he had just lied. He would never start this conversation again; it made him feel like he would vomit. His hands were sweaty and his adrenaline was pumping through his veins like he was preparing for a fight. He was in a sense; prepared to fight for her, to keep her safe, even if it was from herself and her self-sacrificing nature. He would double his efforts on Nevarro to find another lead, anything else that could keep them all together._

He remembers the sound of grief and hopelessness in Cara’s voice when they discussed the potential of finding the kid’s people and how that could mean he might leave their care. She had begged him not to ask her to give him up and he agreed. They had both decided, _as a team_ , that wasn’t an option. _They were best together._ They would always be best together. How could he make Cara see this applied to her as well? They had already discussed their reluctance and almost outright refusal to lose the kid even if they discovered lead on the his people. Bean was theirs; they were a family. 

_They were a family_ , the three of them, and if they weren’t willing to lose the kid, they weren’t willing to lose Cara either. Losing any one of them wasn’t an option. That was non-negotiable. He just had to come up with a better plan.

That night they sparred as usual, did some weapons maintenance, and played with Bean until he was ready to drop, but too stubborn to go to sleep. He just had to keep her away from the Nav charts for another night now. She seemed content to just sit with him as they read their datapads side by side before bed. Their conversation from earlier was still weighing on both of them; getting nearer to Nevarro was making them both on edge. The last time they traveled there together shit had gone down.

He hadn’t told her how many days they had left so as not to give away the surprise detour he had planned. Their last unscheduled stop before they reached Nevarro was still unknown to her and he hoped she'd still be happy after tomorrow and not angry he had changed the flight path and lied to her about it.

They were sitting on the bench side by side, but leaning against one another. Her back rested against his chest and he had his left arm casually slung over her shoulder. She brought her right hand up and over her chest to twine their fingers together as they watched Bean sleepily playing with his toys from his toybox he’d scattered all over the floor. A few months ago, he never could have imagined such a calm peaceful domestic scene, but this was their life now; sitting together enjoying one another’s company while watching their kid play until he was tired enough to go to sleep.

Ever since their difference of opinion earlier, the mood had been subdued in the ship. He didn’t want Cara thinking he was upset. _He wasn’t._ Being worried wasn’t the same thing as being upset and they had no reason to worry yet. Time for a much-needed distraction.

She felt his muscles tense to stand before he had even fully committed to the motion.

“Come on, get up,” he encourages her, as he pats her leg to get her moving.

“For what?”

“Language lesson, come one.”

“Now?” she asks, the surprise evident in her voice. “It’s almost time for bed.”

“It’s a surprise quiz. Your brain isn’t asleep, come on.”

He takes both of her hands in his and leads her toward the center of the room, wiggling her arms a little to make her smile at his antics.

“What is this?” he asks her, as he walks over to the table and picks up her blaster, turning it over in his hand.

“Gun? Blaster?” she guesses, and he tilts his helmet at her. “Oh, I know, Bang-Bang-shooting thing?”

“You’re being a smartass. Not in _basic_. You know what I want to hear.”

“You get off on listening to my _aruetii_ mouth butcher your language? You’re strange, Din.”

“One, anything involving your mouth is fair game; and two, you don’t butcher it nearly as much as you used to.”

“Ok, fine. _Tracy-uur_ , is that what you want to hear?”

“You know what I like, baby,” he says, the teasing so heavy in his voice he can’t even try to disguise it.

“I’m going to punch you in the face, _baby_. Is _that_ what you like? Come on, why don’t you take the helmet off and come here.”

“You’re still talking in basic.” _Damn him. She can feel his smile from under the layer of Beskar. How is that even possible?_

“Teach me how to say ‘I’m going to punch you in the face’ in Mando’a then. Seems like that’s the first sentence I should have learned isn’t it?”

“I’ll teach you right after this,” he promises.

“Aren’t you going to incentivize me? Maybe a kiss every time I get it right?”

“You think I’m taking off my helmet _now_? After what you just _said_?”

She laughs at both his self-preservation and his ability to keep up with her. “Smart man.”

“And I don’t have to incentivize you, I know you hate losing at anything,” he states, like she didn’t already know it. She wanted to argue, but she had no grounds to, and she knew it. She grinned at him though, all but admitting he was right.

“But I tell you what, I’ll keep score if you like. You can get your payout later.” Din waited to see if she was on board or if he needed to change tactics.

“Deal. Blaster is ‘ _tracy-uur_.’ Next.”

He picks up a knife and she can almost hear his smile when she says, “ _kal_ ” and he admits she’s right.

He does the same thing picking up her backpack and then the kid’s carrier. He seems pleasantly surprised when she remembers them correctly. “‘ _Bir gaan_’ is the backpack and the carrier is ‘ _bir ikad._’”

She answers him correctly when she replies ‘ _besbe’trayce_ ,’ to his question about what the locker holds. He’s actually impressed. She _has_ been paying attention all these months.

“Here’s some new ones,” he states, as he walks back to her in the center of the room.

He lets go of her hands and paces them on her cheeks to take her face in his hands. He says, ‘ _troan_ ’, and waits for her to recite it before he moves his hand to grab a soft handful of her hair. He says, ‘ _gemas_ ’ and she repeats it without missing a beat. His fingers slide down the slope of her nose down to her mouth, lingering just long enough to explain ‘ _kles_ ’ and ‘ _uran_ ’ before sliding down her long elegant neck and whispering “ _videk_ ” against her neck as close as he can while still wearing the helmet. She’s trying to follow along, to commit these words to memory but he’s only saying them once and the chance that she’ll recall them is slim. His fingers trail down her throat to rest over her heart before he says, “ _karta_ ” and waits for her to repeat it. That one is easy to remember; it sounds like it does in basic. He lets his hand linger for a moment to feel her heartbeat before moving his hand to the side, over her chest. “ _Haalas_ ,” he says, so gently she isn’t even tempted to make a dirty joke. On the way down to her hand, he skims over her belly and she repeats the word ‘ _yai_ ’ back to him. Lastly, he reaches down to take her hand and moves her relaxed and pliant fingers to curl into a fist and says, “‘ _marev_ ”, you should like that one. It means fist.”

His anatomy lesson had been sweet, but the way he touched her had gotten her worked up.

“You know, I figured you’d teach me important things like ‘ _strength_ ’, ‘ _honor_ ’, maybe ‘ _bed_ ’, or maybe the word for ‘ _kiss_ ’,” she says as she gets closer and closer to him with the last 2 suggestions.

“‘ _Ijaat_ ’ is the word for ‘ _honor_ ’. You should probably know that one.”

“‘ _Kot_ ’ means ‘ _strength_ ’ and ‘ _kotep_ ’ means ‘ _brave_.”

He pauses to let her repeat them after him, correcting her pronunciation of the ‘kot’ sound, which is slightly different between the two words.

“‘ _Kadala_ ’ means ‘ _hurt_ ’ he says as he brushes against the scar on her shoulder followed by the one on her arm.

“‘ _Nuhunar_ ’ mean ‘ _laugh_ ’ and ‘ _briikase_ ’ is the word for ‘ _happy_ ’. You should probably know those two as well.

“Yeah, I should. Those come up a lot.” She never thought she could be the kind of person who used those words so much, but here she was.

“The word for ‘ _kiss_ ’ is ‘ _murcyur_ ’,” he states, and listens as she repeats it back to him softly.

“The word for ‘ _bed_ ’ is ‘ _haav_ ’.” He really likes the way it sounds when she says it back to him.

“‘ _Copad_ ’ is the word for ‘ _desire_ ’, but I like the way it sounds in basic much more.”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something with these words,” she says, as she pushes her chest against his and tucks her chin under his helmet.

“You may be right.” His hands fall to her hips as hers do the same.

“So…. ‘ _copad_ ’ means desire and ‘ _briikase_ ’ means happy? What does mesh’la mean again?”

“It means b----" He almost falls for it except her shit-eating grin gave her away.

“Oh, you are sneaky. I have to keep my eyes on you.”

“You always have you eyes on me, because you think I’m mesh’la apparently.”

He lets out a heavy sigh, he guesses the jig is up. “So, I guess you figured out what it means,” he says, pretty confident, since she used it correctly and if her grin was anything to go by. “How’d you manage that?”

She almost hates to ruin it.

“I have to admit, I kind of cheated. The Armorer told me what it means.”

He sighs, “of course she did.” He’s almost sounds fond when he tells her, “you’re a sneaky shit Cara Dune.”

She smiles at his compliment. “I hope she’s long since moved on from that shitty planet. Not only for her safety, but because I owe her money.”

He laughs, sure he must has misheard her, “What?”

“I owe her money,” she states again and specifies, “six-hundred credits to be exact.”

“That’s an oddly specific amount of money, but we can pay it off, don’t worry about it.”

“No, this was a dumb personal debt, it shouldn’t come out of _our_ credits.”

“Personal debts are _our_ debts.”

“Fine,” she says smugly, “then we owe her 600 credits. Does that make you happy?”

“Over the moon.” He deadpans, and cocks his head waiting for her smart reply.

“Keep the sarcasm to a minimum there Din, that’s my job.”

“So, what’s the story there with the Armorer. Should I be jealous?”

She laughed at the notion of him being jealous of anyone. “Not in _this_ lifetime, we just spent a lot of days in each other’s company after you left Nevarro. I helped out where I could; brought her things from up above; it seemed like she could use a hand. She was a good friend after you left, funny and kind; but as hot as she is, I had already found this other _funnier_ and _kinder_ and yes, _hotter_ Beskar-clad dork and his sweet little green baby with the softest ears I’ve ever seen- and that was it for me. You ruined me Din Djarin, I hope you’re happy.”

“Oh God, what kind of horribly embarrassing stories did she tell you about me? We practically grew up together.” He tried to avoid processing what she had just inadvertently admitted. She had been sweet on him even back then. She just admitted that she felt something for him (and the kid) back before he let himself believe it could ever be possible. _Had he been blind that whole time?_

“I know you grew up together…..” she says mischievously, “she told me all sorts of stories about teenage Din Djarin being a typical angsty idiot like every other 16 year-old alive….” The shit eating grin on her face once again gave her away. He knew she was just teasing him. His friend wouldn’t purposefully embarrass him, and Cara would have refused to hear anything about his past if he wasn’t there to explain or defend himself.

He makes a dramatic showing of putting his head in his hands in defeat and she laughs. “I’m just kidding, you know. She wouldn’t say anything about you that could paint you in an unflattering light.”

“Honestly, Din, she didn’t tell me any stories, we just talked about her childhood, the war, and where everyone goes from here. We talked weapons, and politics and stupid laws that are still on the books…… nothing about you in all your adolescent glory, I promise. I’d rather hear those stories from you anyway.”

“We have time, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” He didn’t just mean now. _They had time_. They had their whole lives going forward if he was reading everything right.

“Tell me about 16-year-old Din then,” she requests, when he makes it clear he’s in a talkative mood.

“Uggh. You may change your mind about sharing a bed with me after you hear how amazing I was….”

“That’s unlikely as Hell, but I’ll be the judge of that. And if it’s a _really_ good story I might tell you about me at the same age.”

“Okay. It’s worth it just for _that_.” He pauses to think of something worth telling her about. “Let me tell you about the time I snuck out of the tunnels because I heard there was a fight ring in the cantina and I wanted to try out what I had been learning…..”

“You didn’t……” she says disbelievingly, as a little snort escapes her nose.

“Oh, I did…..” He scoffs, as if he can’t actually believe he’s going to tell her about this. “I’ve never told anyone this story…..just so you know.”

She’s listening with rapt attention and he almost laughs at how focused she is on his story. He’s a horrible storyteller, but she seems to think otherwise.

“The guy’s name I drew was at least 250 pounds and built like a cement wall. What do you think I did?” He waits to see her smile before continuing. “Did I back out of it like any intelligent person would do?”

She’s laughing so hard now. “Of course not- teenagers don’t _have_ any intelligence.” He can see the dimples in her cheeks with how hard she’s smiling. _How many other embarrassing stories can he think of to make her smile like that?_

“That was the _first_ time I broke my nose in my helmet. I tried hiding it, but I was talking funny for days.”

They’re both laughing then. She’s had her nose broken, many times in fact. She cringes a little in understanding and sympathy as she thinks about what it must have felt like rubbing against his faceplate.

“Go on, top that….,” he challenges her, as he sits back into the chair waiting to see what she comes up with. She can tell his story didn’t upset him. He sounded amused even, remembering it just now.

“I broke my arm once, trying to sneak out of my window. I thought the tree branch could hold me.” He starts chuckling, seeing where this is going.

“It could not,” she states, as if it wasn’t obvious. He loved her sense of humor. She brought out the lighthearted side of him, without even realizing it. He had never felt so light before until he had met her.

He’s the one laughing now.

“Laugh it up, Din,” she says wanting to encourage his playful demeanor despite the self-deprecating tone of her story. “I couldn’t get it fixed without admitting to my parents what happened, so I was prepared to walk around with it broken for weeks until it fused on its own. Luckily it turned cold that time of year and I splinted it myself and wore a coat all the time to cover it….and I mean all the time. Stars, I’ve never sweated so much in my life. I still can’t wear a coat without my arm aching in remembrance of me being such an idiot.”

“Is that the scar on your forearm?” He asks her, trying to put the story in context of the scars he’s mapped across her body. He stands up as he senses the story had come to a close.

“No, that’s a whole other story. I’ll tell you that one tomorrow. I can’t tell you all my secrets at one time, come on. You’ll find me horribly boring then.”

“Never,” he stated, seriously. You could tell me a story every day for the rest of your life and I would still think you were fascinating……” He takes a step closer to her.

“….and interesting……” He puts his arms around her and pulls her to his chest.

“….and beautiful…….” He lowers his helmet to rest against her shoulder where it meets her neck, as close as he can get to kissing her throat with the helmet still in place.

“Keep talkin’ hot shot,” she challenges him, as she tries not to smile like an idiot. “Tell me how great I am, I’ve got all day” she says, unable to conceal her snicker.

“Should I take this off then so you can hear me flatter you more clearly? It might take quite a long time.”

“Not if it’s your intention to rub your beard against me. That’s cheating,” she says, already shifting her weight to rub her legs together just thinking about it.

“You love it when I play dirty.” _Damn him and his voice. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and she knows it. And even worse, he knows that she knows it._

“I do.” She can’t even attempt to deny it when he talks like that.

“Sooooo?” he says, dragging out the question, “helmet on or off?”

“Take it off so I can kiss your stupid face.”

He starts laughing inside the metal covering before he raises his hands to lift it off. She takes over and raises it off to rest beside her. She catalogues the difference in his laugh as soon as his natural unaltered voice reaches her. She loves them equally she decides- but she’s always known that.

“I love it when you do that,” he says sincerely to her, remembering earlier days when she was so hesitant to remove it under any circumstances. _How things had changed in the past few months._

She kisses him hard, but sweet, before pulling away just enough to mutter, “I know,” against his mouth. He can feel her grin against his lips before she kisses him again. _Or did he kiss her that time? _They blur together at some point, their hunger and desire for each other is so evenly matched he has a hard time telling where he ends, and she begins.

………………………………………

They wake up slowly the next morning and Din is already on edge, knowing how close they are to coming out of hyperspace. The kid is sitting on the floor under the table and they can hear the crinkling of food wrappers as he eats his way through the breakfast snacks they put in his basket. They’re still curled around each other in bed, their skin completely bare, as they’ve taken to sleeping now.

She rolls over onto her back and brings him on top of her as she gets comfortable. They pretty much avoid getting tangled in this position as the temptation is too great, but from time to time they can’t help themselves. She knows exactly what she’s doing while he’s still warm and amorous from sleep, as she shifts and reaches between them to place him exactly where she wants him and hears him hiss through his teeth.

“Cara……” he warns, his voice already sounding breathy and desperate.

She stretches languidly pushing her breasts against his chest as she arches, and her legs reach to wrap around him.

“Uggh, you can't do that,” he says, as he tries and fails to think of a good reason why not.

“I'm naked, how are you going to stop me,” she challenges him, knowing that she’ll like any attempt he makes.

They're both laughing as his hands are everywhere, trying playfully to pin her down as she keeps rubbing against him defiantly. They’re trying to get a laugh out of the other one until her legs lock around his waist, ankles against his lower back and suddenly nothing's funny anymore as he smoothly rocks against her, as hard as she's ever felt him; his rhythmic movements pulling a strangled moan from both of their throats as he puts more pressure behind it. She shifts deliberately and feels as he slides through her wetness. She shifts again, with meaning this time as she wiggles slightly higher, and he presses into her just enough for her to gasp at how good it feels.

“I want this so bad Din. Yeah?” She asks against his lips, breathlessly, asking him if he wants to finally take this leap. Waking up with him like this every day is too much. If they don’t want to take this further maybe they should start sleeping in underwear again.

“Yeah, me too,” he says, his brain quickly shutting down as all the blood has left temporarily in search of a better location.

“I want you. I want _this_. All of it.” She takes another greedy lungful of air as it’s already growing difficult to breathe. “Come on, I’m so wet. Please say you want this,” she begs him, as she pushes her heel into his lower back, and he shifts a fraction deeper and they both exhale as the air is punched from their lungs at the sensation.

“I do. Believe me, _I do_ ”. He buries his face in her neck. “Gods, so much. I want to make love to you Cara, but the kid will be here any minute. I want it to be unhurried and unrushed though, not some frantic race toward release trying to beat the clock with the kid.” 

She lets out a disgruntled yet understanding sigh and a muttered, “I know, _I know_.” Her brain _knows_ , but that doesn’t mean her body does.

She licks up his neck, tasting the salt of his sweat before biting down lightly and arguing, “but if we have the blanket over us, he won’t even be able to see anything, right?”

“Cara!” he says, scandalized at the thought of Bean walking in on them, especially the first time, blanket or not.

He wants her though. There can’t even be a second where she thinks she doesn’t want her so bad he can barely think straight. “I know. Believe me, I want this too, but when we make love, I want to worship you; I want us to take our time,” he whispers against her neck where he’s buried his face. He moves up her neck to murmur right against her ear, his warm breath making her shiver, “I want to lose myself inside you until I can't even remember who I am, that we’re not just one person.”

_God damn his voice_

“Me too,” she speaks into the darkness of the room, as his face is still buried into her neck. “I want to feel like you’re a part of me, more than you already are; like I can't tell where you end, and I begin.”

“You will, I promise. I'll give you anything,” he says without even thinking about it, but it’s true. He can’t think of anything he wouldn’t give her if she asked it of him.

“How can we keep him occupied, Din? I want you so much.”

“Not half as bad as I want you, _as I need you_. We’ll think of something” He kisses her sweet, trying to cool then both down, but it has the opposite effect when their mouths open of their own accord and their tongues seek out one another hungrily. They're getting themselves too worked up. He has to pull back before he loses the ability to entirely.

“I know why we have to wait,” she says, “but I can't lie- that ‘frantic race toward release’ you just mentioned sounds pretty good right about now.”

“I can help you with that,” he says as a promise against her skin. _He can work with that. He can make her forget for a few minutes at least._

“Only if you let me return the favor; you’re spoiling me, Din.” She reaches down to stroke him, but her wetness still clinging to him makes the glide all the more pleasurable, and he lets out a gasp at the sensation.

He let out a moan and says agreeably when he can form words, “good, you should be. And I learned a long time ago I can't talk you out of anything you want to do, so I won't even waste my breath.”

“You’re learning. I’m proud of you,” she says, and she can hear his laugh moving down her chest and her stomach.

They both laugh until his mouth reaches its destination and then there's no more laughing, only gasps and moans and pleas for more. By the time she flips him over with her legs still shaking and returns the favor, he’s so worked up from making her arch and writhe against his mouth that he barely manages to hold out for any respectable time at all. Neither one was complaining with how aroused they made each other and definitely not how fast they got each other off now. They were out of time anyway, as Bean padded into the room and started climbing up the covers. They could work on their stamina next time, and the time after that.

……………………………………..

Hours later, it’s mid-morning when Din checks the controls one more time before they come out of hyperspace. He looked out the viewing screen and smiled to himself. _He had done it._ The light filled up the cockpit. It really _was_ beautiful. He hoped he hadn’t royally fucked up with this detour. _One way to find out…..time to go find Cara._

He finds her sitting on the floor, Bean in her lap, as she shows him how to take apart her commlink and put it back together again. It’s funny how his big dark eyes are watching her every movement so intently. She’s explaining every step to him as she takes it apart and the kid keeps responding with his own little chirps and coos as if he understands her perfectly. Cara laughs at his concentration and lets him try his hand at it by laying out all the pieces on the floor and he surprisingly fits some of them together correctly. She thinks it’s just by chance; the natural curiosity of children putting things together, but she can’t be sure…..He can be unnaturally intelligent at times so she talks to him like he _is_ , rarely placating him with nonsense baby-talk

Din hates to ruin the moment but he clears his throat to get her attention (the kid doesn’t even blink). “There’s something I need to show you above deck, you got a minute?”

“Sure,” she responds as she uncrosses her legs to stand up, rubbing her calf as she does so. “I like how that sounds,” she says suggestively. “Is that code for ‘we need to distract Bean for half an hour’ or you really need to show me something?”

“He looks pretty distracted already, but I do actually need to run something by you” he says, as he looks back at Bean who has almost all of the pieces fitted together, though not perfectly. He can feel what he assumes is pride spreading warm throughout his chest as he takes in the smug look on his son’s face at his success. “Good job kid,” he praises him, “can you take it apart again? I need to talk to Cara for a minute. We’ll be right back.”

Cara starts to follow him, but he sidesteps her so she’s in front and his hand rests on her lower back. Before she can make it past the table, he quietly tells her, “close your eyes.” _This will be easier if he can maintain some semblance of control over this whole thing._ He almost laughs at himself at even thinking there’s anything in this universe than can control _her_.

“Ok,” she replies, shutting them without hesitation. She’s used to the request by now with how often he removes his helmet for her recently. He still marvels at the trust she has in him. He guides her toward the ladder, and she laughs when her hip accidentally hits the edge of a table turning the corner. Her knee then clips a chair before he can clear it from her path, and she can’t help but laugh.

“Owww,” she complains, as she rubs her knee and her hip. He places his hand against her hip and rubs it as well to take the sting out of where she caught the table.

“Sorry,” he laughs, almost a snort inside his helmet. She loves that sound. She’d walk into 10 more tables if it made him laugh like that.

He places her hands on the bottom rung of the ladder and she snorts at him in reprimand. _Is he serious?_

“Seriously? You want me to climb the ladder with my _eyes closed_? Are you _trying_ to kill me? There are easier ways, you know. You could just cook me dinner for instance.”

“Very funny. Up the ladder Dune. I’ll be right behind you.”

“You going to stare at my ass the whole time?” she asks, the grin he knows so well is already plastered on her face.

“That goes without saying.”

She waits for him at the top of the ladder, her legs dangling over the ledge of the main hold.

He climbs up after her and pulls her to her feet and makes sure she steps away from the edge before taking her hand.

“Come on,” he encourages her before he loses his nerve. Her hand is so warm clasped in his. He knows his is sweaty, but she thankfully doesn’t mention it.

“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” she asks, as her fingers curl around his in total trust.

“Nope. It’s a surprise.”

She huffs out an amused sound at that description. “Are we talking a good surprise like a new pair of boots, or a surprise like telling me you got shot and didn’t tell me?”

“That was only one time, and I’m pretty sure after our shower this morning, I couldn’t have hidden a gunshot from you if I tried.”

“You might have gotten away with it if it was on your back, I was pretty distracted by your front.”

_Stay focused Din. Don’t let her distract you. You can think about that later…._

“It’s a good surprise,” he assures her. After some hesitation, he quietly adds, “at least I hope it is”.

They get close to the flight deck and this path she knows by heart. He proceeds to cover her eyes with his hands.

“What are you covering my eyes for, I told you I’d keep them closed. I promised.”

“I know, it just adds to the surprise. Humor me, huh?”

He maneuvers her in front of the viewport and turns her back to him, so her shoulders are resting against his chest and she is facing the vastness of space; only it’s not the vastness of space she’s facing. One arm was still around her waist as he holds her against him and the other still covering her eyes.

“Did you get a new dashboard bauble? The kid has enough toys as it is. Don’t tell me you let him talk you into another one? You’re such a pushover when it comes to him.” Her voice is filled with so much affection he can’t help but smile and it lightens his anxiety instantly.

“Just get ready to open your eyes, Dune.” He tried to inject some humor because he feels exposed by this gesture, unsure if she will love or hate it or just call him an idiot. He wanted to do this for her, _to give her this_ , an experience they could share together; but as he stands here, he feels dumb. She won’t possibly be impressed by this. This wasn’t useful or valuable. What the hell had he been thinking that this was something that would mean anything to her? He wanted this to be something he could give her as a sign of his affection, but now it just seems silly and cheap. _Well, it’s too late to change his mind now._

He swallows, feeling her relaxed warmth pressed all along his front and he uses that as courage to go through with it. “Do you remember on Sorgan, the first night when we were riding in the cart?”

“Of course, I do.” _What possibly made him think of that?_

“You asked me about traveling and which systems I visited, do you remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” she says suspiciously. “I’m surprised you remembered that though.”

“You said you had never seen a specific celestial body but that you had always wanted to since you were a child.”

“Yes, I rememb--……But I don’t know what this had to do wi—” She starts and stops again, trying to make some connection that’s just out of her reach.

“Just open your eyes.” He takes his hand away.

He’s standing behind her, but his face is angled toward hers, watching her intently so he can see the moment when she opens her eyes.

They’re open. She blinks once.

She blinks again.

_She isn’t saying anything._

She’s just standing there, staring out the viewscreen; the rainbow of colors washing over her face making her even more beautiful. The entire view is nothing but blues, and pinks, and purples against a black backsplash; the most vivid colors he’s ever seen.

Her jaw drops slightly, just enough that her lips part, but no sound comes out.

“Din……?” She sounds uncertain, unable to trust what her eyes are telling her.

_Another moment passes in silence._

“Oh, Din,” she says in total wonder…….

“What did you do?” she asks breathlessly, air hardly moving past her lips as she speaks. She turns her head just a fraction so she doesn’t lose sight of the swirling colors, but focuses on his visor as if it will tell her what she wants to know. Her hand is clutching his where it rests around her stomach.

He feels so exposed even with the helmet firmly in place. He tries to downplay it in hopes of saving himself the embarrassment if she starts laughing at his gesture. “I changed our flight plan slightly so we would pass by it.”

She turns around fully then to stare at him incredulously with huge eyes. “Slightly? Slightly?! Are you serious? Do you have any clue how far away from civilized space we are right now? There’s a reason no one’s ever seen this…..”

“I do actually, since I put in the coordinates and changed our fuel usage to compensate.”

_She’s so quiet. She’s not mad is she?_

“Is this actually what I think it is…..?” He just nods in answer.

She breathes out a disbelieving laugh as she says, “I can’t believe you found this……”

Her eyes are soft and the shape of her face shifts from a look of shock, to one of awe and wonder and complete rapture at what she’s seeing. When she looks at him, he sees the same emotions written on her face, but even _greater_ somehow. How can she look at him with so much emotion and awe when the nebula is right _there_? He can’t possibly compare to that, but the way she’s looking at him, he might just believe it.

She’s not even looking out the viewscreen right now, focused entirely on him. _Why is she looking at him instead of this beautiful thing?_ He turns her back toward the viewport so they can see it together, but she turns back to him again. It would almost be funny in another situation.

“Good god, how did you know to find this?” she asks, when she regains her vocabulary.

“You said you had enough things, but this isn’t a _thing_. You said back then that you wanted to see it. I _wanted_ you to see it and I wanted to see it too ever since I heard you mention it.” He hopes that’s enough of an explanation without this turning embarrassing. “We’re seeing it together now. I hope that’s okay.” He takes a breath to give her an out if this isn’t what she hoped it would be. “Did you want a minute alone?” he asks hesitantly, when he saw her eyes were wet. _It really must have been important to her._ _Only something really important could have drawn moisture from her eyes like that._

“Why…?” she asks after she take a second to grasp that this was the surprise he was talking about. Her brain is finally catching up.

“Why, what?” he asks in response. He doesn’t know what she means.

“Why did you do this? This is insanely far from any system we’d ever need to visit.”

She’s turned completely around in his arms now and he tightens his hold on her before tilting his head at her in amused confusion. “Do you really not know?”

She stepped back so she could really look at him. She couldn’t think of either a witty reply or a serious one, so she just smiled at him instead. “I wanted to share this with you, Cara. I wanted to give you this. Something you said you wanted and that I could give you……”

She reached out to grab his hand, her hand soft and warm in his. Their fingers intertwined and she stepped into him again, missing the warmth of his arms around her. “I don’t want a moment alone. Let’s watch this together.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, making absolutely certain.

“Stay with me”. _Those words had both haunted his nightmares and graced his dreams ever since she had said them to him so long ago as he thought he lay dying._

He lifted her hands up to his neck before putting her hands on the edge of helmet to lift it off.

“What are you doing, Din?—There’s way too much light, you can’t—”

She was right- if they were both going to have their eyes open staring out the screen, the risk was real. The whole room was awash in colorful light.

“I want to show you how much I trust you.”

“Din- this is dangerous. What if one of us turns by accident?”

“It isn’t dangerous, I trust you and it’s what I want. If you accidentally see me, then you see me. It’s worth the risk to see this with you.” _He sounds so sure, but what if he’s just caught up in the moment? She has to at least try to keep him thinking rationally, even if she wants to feel his face against hers as well._

“Yeah, maybe you think that today and maybe tomorrow, but what about down the line when you realize you made a mistake and you can’t go back. I’m going to accidentally see you at some point if you keep being this reckless. I don’t want to be a mistake.”

“You really think you’d be a mistake?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. I misspoke. I meant—"

He interrupts her to insist, “I want to watch this with you. With you Cara, without anything between us.”

His voice was soft when he next said, “just trust me, okay?” He’s thought about this constantly for the last year, he’s not being careless.

“You don’t get to pull the trust card every time you want to win an argument, you know. That’s playing dirty,” she says, the humor returning to her voice at his familiar go-to. He was trying to make her laugh and she appreciated the ‘out’.

“Tell me about this nebula.” He asks her as he turns her around, so his arms are wrapped around her stomach again and she’s facing away from him when he removes his helmet. 

She knows his bare face is right behind her head as he presses his cheek against hers and she starts reciting what she remembers about it. She makes sure to keep her gaze forward so they can both have their eyes open and watch the viewport together. The scientific facts are fascinating, but she doesn’t think that’s what he wants to hear.

“When I was a kid I was fascinated by the stars, like every planetbound kid, I guess. She chuckles to herself as she tries to think of a kid who’s not obsessed with the night sky. “I never figured I ‘ve ever leave Alderaan, most people never leave, but they taught astronomy in school anyway, and I was fascinated by how vast space was. This was pretty much the furthest object they taught us about so of course I fixated on it. It did also help that it was so beautiful and powerful. _Just look at all the colors, all that energy._ Stars are born there you know, it’s hard to get more powerful than that…..”

“Yeah, I can understand your draw to it,” he says, not taking his eyes off of her. He can’t help but make the connection to his own helpless pull toward her.

“It’s called ‘the hunter’ you know, Orion. That’s the constellation that houses this nebula. You don’t find that the least bit humorous?” She finds that humorous at least.

“I did know that. I did quite a bit of research looking into how to get here.”

“If you already knew all this, why did you ask me to tell you again?” she asks, surprised he wanted to hear it all again. He usually hated being told the same thing twice.

“Maybe I like hearing your voice too. You ever think of that?” He still remembers her voice from that night in the cart. He kept drifting in and out of sleep listening to it and it stuck with him for weeks after he had left her behind.

“You’re a sneaky shit, Din Djarin.”

She cast her eyes downwards so she can angle her face to run her lips along his neck as the nebula glows behind them, almost forgotten in their study of each other. The sensation is almost electric traveling from his neck through the rest of his body.

“You are playing with fire here, Cara”

“I guess I am.” She admits with no shame, whatsoever.

If she has no shame, then neither does he.

“You are a force of nature Cara Dune, no different than the nebula out there. Dangerous, strong, powerful, and I’m drawn to you like a moth; I can’t help but want to reach out to touch you, knowing you could easily lay me out if you wanted. You’re captivating and I can’t take my eyes off of you. You completely burn down my defenses; you have from the very beginning. This nebula is supposed to the most beautiful thing that people want to see their whole life, but standing next to you, it’s just a ball of colorful gas in comparison.” He’s facing her head-on now, staring at her eyelids as she stares determinedly at his bare neck. “I can’t take my eyes off of _you, Cara_.”

She’s grinning at his words as she exhales a disbelieving huff. “I still don’t know what you see in me, but I trust you, so I believe you must really see it. I’ve never known you to lie to me before.”

“Do you want me to tell you what I see? Why I have to be near you, have to reach out and touch you?”

_Did she? This was one of those moments. The feeling you have just before you jump off a cliffside into the waiting water underneath. Was this a one-way ticket to the destination they had both been traveling together all this time? Fuck it. Let’s do this. She was no coward._

“I have no clue what you see in me Din Djarin. Enlighten me.” Either she just said the bravest thing to come out of her mouth or the most foolish, she wasn’t sure which one yet. Either way, they weren’t going to finish this conversation on the same footing as they began it.

“How can you not?”

“Don’t joke Din, not about this. I know what I see when I look in the mirror. I know I don’t have a lot to offer you, I’m not stupid. You and the kid have given me everything and I..….

She looks down at her feet wearing his socks to stave off the cold of the metal grating of the floor.

“……I can’t really give you anything in return. Maybe I’m a decent second gun to watch your back, a set of hands to hold him when you need a break. I help fly the ship when you’re tired or injured …..”

He cuts her off there, unable to listen to her shitty opinion of herself any longer. “You can’t possibly think that’s all you are? You _really_ don’t see what you mean to us, what you give us?” _He’s almost begging her to see it from his point of view, now. How can she possibly think that?_

He sighs as it becomes clear that she wasn’t joking when she described what she thought she offered them. “That’s my fault then, for not telling you.”

He doesn’t force her to look at him, he just starts talking.

“I’ll start with something easy then. I see your beauty. You _must_ believe me when I say that. But that’s not even a drop in the bucket of who you are. I see your kindness, your selflessness, your bravery, your strength, your resilience, your humor, your morals. Your protective nature, your gentleness ‘ _don’t laugh_ ’, your belief in me…..It’s not just that though. It’s not just what _you_ see in me, it’s what you make me see in _myself_ that’s so amazing.”

He has to look at her. _He has to_. He reaches behind him to replace his helmet so he can look directly into her eyes.

As soon as she feels the helmet fall into place, she raises her eyes to look directly into his through the visor.

“Thank you, really” she says sincerely, as it seems he’s said all there was to say, but there was so much more he wanted to tell her. She seemed really moved by his words though and she shockingly doesn’t seem upset in the least. He knows how she feels about _words_ , and he doesn’t want to ruin it by saying everything he’s thinking as he sees the array of colors reflected off her dark pupils. The fact that she not only heard him out as he described his adoration of her, but was actually smiling at the end of it? That was huge. ‘ _Stop while you’re ahead, Din,’ the voice in his head said._

But there was so much more he wanted to say. She was so much more than a few complimentary words could capture. He sees everything that he’s ever wanted reflected in her eyes; not just that, but the man he wants to be. She sees him as strong when he feels everything but. She sees him as honorable, when he feared there wasn’t anything good left in him. The Mandalorians were disappointed in him; he was little more than an outcast and even Paz had called him a traitor. Of course she didn’t _make _him honorable, he wasn’t that naïve; you can’t change a person like that no matter how hard you try, but she brought it to the surface as sure as he’s standing here. She awakened it from its slumber beneath a blanket of grief and sadness and loneliness; brought fresh air to his suffocating life of duty and expectation.

She sees him as funny and quick-witted, when he’s never had any reason to find humor in anything before. When he was alone, he could never have understood the joy of sharing quick-witted repartee and flirty banter.

She sees him as a good father, when his greatest fear is letting down his little boy who looks at him like he hung every star in the sky.

She sees him as a good partner, a good lover, when in reality he has no clue how to make her happy. But she smiles at him everyday and tells him she’s never been as happy as when they are side by side discovering the galaxy and discovering each other. _Maybe one day he can say these same words to her._

Din was so lost in thought he almost forgot the rest of his plan for the day. “I thought we could land on the small moon nearby today and spend the night; the course is already laid in. We can watch the nebula from the ground, like people have done since the beginning of time, before space travel. Is that okay with you?”

“Is this part of your surprise?” she asks, shocked that there could possibly be more to it than he had already given her.

“Yes? Is that okay with you?”

“Better than okay. I still can’t believe you planned all this. I’m impressed.” _There wasn’t any mocking or teasing in her voice. He had actually managed to impress her._

“You’re not mad I kept it from you?” Din asks, wanting to make sure he’s not stepping into a minefield.

“Of course not, lead on Din. Today and tomorrow are all yours.”

“Okay, prepare to land then, and enjoy your next 24 hours on solid ground.”

“I’ll grab our boots and find Bean’s _birikad_.”

“Smartass.”

“Where’s my kiss for saying it right?” She even puckers her lips and everything.

“I hate you so much right now,” he says, with the most affection that’s ever laced those words.

“You love it. Just put it on my tab.” She laughs, as she turns her back to collect their things and grab the kid.

_How could he possibly love this woman any more than he already does?_

_....................................._

_Continued in Chapter 2_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I'd love to hear your thoughts if you enjoyed it.  
> Comments make my day!


	2. Words

They can never be too careful as they scan the green forest planet for lifeforms. There are no living things here bigger than the palm of her hand and nothing poisonous or venomous in case the kid decides to sample the local wildlife. They take almost an hour unloading the ship with supplies to make camp and keep the kid entertained and comfortable. It feels completely unnatural to be walking down the ramp not decked out head to toe in armor, but Din insisted this was a much-needed break and that they should enjoy wearing their soft clothes instead for the duration. Seeing him outside of the Crest with just his helmet was strange indeed, but he seemed so happy she just went with it.

They set up camp around the Crest in a large clearing, close enough they could hear the soothing yet powerful sounds of the nearby waterfall. This place was eerily quiet; the only sounds were those of the frogs and insects that seemed to be in abundance. The kid was in his element. Cara and Din sat down on a blanket they had spread out on the ground to get some food together for lunch, but the kid seemed to have other ideas. They gave up worrying about mid-day meal to follow him through the clearing and into the surrounding woods in search of practically anything that moved. At one point, Cara picked up a fuzzy caterpillar and placed it on Bean’s hand. He kept trying to get his mouth on it, convinced he was the top of the food chain, but she held his hand still so he could watch it inching around. The kid watched it rapturously, but when it was clear he was more interested in eating it than studying it, Cara picked it back up and put it on a leaf out of reach of little green hands.

It was strange for them to have no mission, no tasks, no timeline to stick to, but they tried to pretend it was something they did all the time. They followed the kid as he climbed over branches, lifted up rocks, and waddled into the stream more than once in search of the elusive tadpoles he found there. They were amazed and a little saddened at how much joy he found spending time in in nature. They had to keep him from eating all forms of sentient life he came across, but at least he was experiencing life as it was meant to be lived; not within the metal walls of a claustrophobic ship, but in nature when’re he could feel the dew on his feet and stretch his little legs running in straight lines and not just circles the exact circumference of the Crest’s main hold. She looked over at Din and she knew he was thinking the same thing as her. They had to do better for their kid. He deserved be free like this, chasing frogs and hunting tadpoles. Maybe trips like these could become a regular thing.

It was almost like he could read her mind when he said, “we should make an effort to do this more often. There’s no reason between jobs we can’t spend a few days like this every month, don’t you think?”

“Maybe not this level of grandeur, but yeah, that would be nice; not just for him, but for us too.” She still couldn’t believe he did all this for her. Even in the light of day she could look up and see the colors of the nebula, only slightly dimmed from the sunlight. She was looking forward to it getting dark, even though that meant their time here was halfway over. Bean was still in the lead, but they trailed several paces behind him, giving him the illusion of independence aired with their net of safety. Din reached over and grabbed her hand and they changed their steps so they could walk in synchrony.

They walked like this all the time after jobs, but without their gloves, it seemed so much more intimate now. Another half hour of following the green menace through his new kingdom passed without fanfare and he eventually sat down to play with a pile of leaves he found. He kept trying to put a pinecone on the top of the leaves, but the physics were all wrong. The leaves were too soft to hold its weight and he tried to balance it on the narrowest part…..Cara bumped her shoulder into Dins, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they stood and watched the kid work through a situation that was surely going to leave him frustrated. It made her want to leap in and help him figure it out, but Din felt the tenseness in her shoulders and whispered to her, “it’s a part of life. He has to fail sometimes to learn.”

“I know, but it’s hard to watch.”

“We’ll jump in if he wants us to, but he’s smart, he’ll figure it out.” Din had turned his face to look at her as he spoke.

“It looks like he already did,” she says, as she looks back at him smiling. Din turns his head back to the kid and sees what she means.

The kid is balancing the pinecone on the pile of soft leaves all right, but it’s not following the laws of physics at all. The sharp tip of the pinecone is touching the leaves, but when he looked closer, he could see it wasn’t actually touching the leaves at all, just hovering above. The kid is grinning back at them and they can’t help but smile back at him at his achievement. “Good job kid,” Din says, and Cara chimes in, clearly impressed, “that’s one way of doing it. Good problem-solving, Bean.” Satisfied that he’s conquered nature his own way, the kid gets up and waddles off to a hollowed-out log to look inside. Din and Cara stay where they are, enjoying his arm around her shoulders and hers around his waist before Din breaks the silence, “he’s definitely something isn’t he, our kid?” 

“He certainly is,” she says, and she wraps her other arm around him too. He raises his helmet just a few inches so he can quickly peck her on the lips playfully before the kid emerges from the log.

They take hours slowly walking their way back to where they made camp, following the sound of the waterfall to guide them. They can’t seem to get enough of this slow pace; absolutely nothing to do but walk together over the soft moss of the forest floor. It reminds him of the best moments on Sorgan, hours walking the woods with her, shooting the shit, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. But this planet, (moon really) is _all theirs,_ it’s special. Humans almost never made it this far out, and if anyone had landed here in the past it could not have been more than one or two deep-space explorers.

Bean wanted to be carried by this point, but he still has his treasures clutched in his hands: a pinecone, a snail’s shell, and a smooth gray river rock. They can go next to Cara’s collection of knick-knacks on the shelf. They take turns carrying him, but they are always touching each other in some way as the sun starts to go down.

They eat dinner on the blankets that are spread out on the ground before the last rays of sunlight are gone. They’ve had a fire going in case the night got chilly, but it’s still downright sweltering. The kid must be exhausted because he keeps nodding off between bites. When he’s had enough, she wraps him in a blanket and holds him in her lap as his eyes close and he falls asleep. She and Din finish their dinner next to each other as the kid slumbers on. She gets up to place him in the safety of the metal carrier just in case and closes the panels- _You can never be too careful._ The sound of the waterfall is the only background noise they can focus on and its soothing sound will likely help the kid sleep like a log.

There are no predatory animals inhabiting this planet, so they douse the fire and are met with the smell of smoke and sight of utter darkness. Din still wore his helmet, but reached to remove it once the embers of the fire died out. They can’t see each other at all, and with no light to focus on their eyes are both drawn up to the swirling colors of the nebula above them in the night sky. They can see whatever the colors reflect upon, but nothing in the shadows. He reaches around her to try to link his fingers around her lower back to pull her into him, but he has his shoes off, and his grip settles on her bottom instead.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to cop a feel.”

“Oh, please,” she says with a smile in her voice, “you only love me for my body.”

She was waiting for him to come back to her with a witty comment. When all that met her was silence, her stomach dropped.

Usually he would come right back at her usually joking how ‘beautiful’ he really did find her but this time he hesitated. ….. “You know I think you’re beautiful,” in an uncertain voice that sobered her pretty quick. _Why wasn’t he joking back with her, did she offend him?_

“Hey Din, come on. You know I was just joking right? I know that’s not true. I have a big mouth. I don’t think that’s why you…..and me…… you know…….”

_How could he find a more perfect time and place than this? The nebula as a background, Cara risking herself for him and their son to have a good life, it’s too much to keep inside any longer. It’s easier to talk in the dark but can he actually do this? Can her tell her what she means to him without upsetting her?_

“Do you know why I …… _care_ …. for you? I mean really, _without joking_ , do you know?”

She doesn’t know how to answer so she just stays silent. If she says “yes” she would be lying, but he would feel like he did a good job showing her. If she said “no” it sounded like she was fishing for compliments. She knew he cared for her, _more than cared for her if she was being brutally honest_ , but for the life of her she didn’t understand _why_.

“If I tell you something can you stay quiet until I’m done? Even if I pause, you’ll stay quiet and let me finish?” His voice was so serious. _What was going on inside his head?_

“Yes, of course I can. What’s the matter?”

He had to laugh at that. _Nothing_ is the matter, everything is perfect. That’s exactly what I want to talk about.

“Okay. This is the one time I’ll keep my mouth shut. Make it count.” She’s trying to lighten the mood, but he seems so focused. Was this a conversation she was about to regret agreeing to? Was he going to ask her hard questions she couldn’t answer, give her some sort of ultimatum?

“Do you like seeing the nebula with me,” he asks her, holding one of her hands in his.

Okay. That one was easy. She could answer that. “Yes, of course,” she said honestly, the answer just falling from her lips without a second thought. “It’s amazing. I still can’t believe you found it, that you brought me here with you to see it. It’s wonderful; the best thing anyone’s ever given me.”

“There’s a reason I wanted to bring you here. I’m terrible about talking about this sort of thing.” He raised one hand to rub at the back of his neck and she wanted to reach out to him at his visible sign of discomfort. Seeing his display of anxiety made her anxious too.

“Don’t worry,” she says to try to encourage him, “if the words don’t come out right, it’s okay. If it’s serious I’ll understand what you’re trying to say like always, I promise.” 

“You know I don’t …..I’m not with you because of how you look…... don’t you?”

“Yes, of course, I was just joking,” she says immediately. _Shit she had really upset him by saying that._ “I don’t believe that, I was just trying to tease you.”

“I know, but I also know that I’ve never hold you how much I ----” she throws her hand across his mouth.

“Din, No. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to just because you think I need to hear it, I mean it.”

“Not everything is about you Dune,” he laughs, amused for the first time in this conversation and she immediately feels weight fall off her shoulders. “This is for _me_ Cara, I _want_ to share this with you. I have for a long time. Will you hear it? Will you hear me make a pitiful attempt at telling you what you mean to me. You can say ‘no’ if you’re not ready to hear it, but I’d really like it if you gave me a chance.”

“Okay. Yes,” she said solemnly. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for this man if it was important to him, even at her own discomfort.

Din takes a breath and begins. “When I first met you, I was …………miserable…… and I didn’t even know it. I lived my life for money. I lived it for this concept of honor that wasn’t even mine; it was my Clan’s. I was only a part of the whole and I thought that was life, that there could never be anything more than that.

“I never wanted anything for myself until I met you and then suddenly I wanted everything. Even in the early days you made me feel more alive than I ever had before. You see the best in me and if you can’t understand what I see in you, then I can’t understand what you see in me either, but I’m grateful that you do.

“You see me as strong, when I feel anything but. You see me as honorable, when I feared there wasn’t anything good left in me. When my people were disappointed in me and I had buried down any chance of an honorable life, you showed me the kind of person I wanted to be. You brought honor and fulfillment where there was nothing but duty; joy, where there was nothing by expectation.”

Cara is just watching him, completely silent. He’s not sure if this is a good sign, but he’s taking this chance to get it all out. She wasn’t fighting this, and he was grateful.

“You see me as funny and quick witted when I’ve never had any reason to find humor in anything. You call me a good father when feel like I’m barely doing enough for that kid who looks at me like I hung the stars in the sky. You see me like I actually have something to offer you as a partner.”

He turns them so his face is completely in the shadow but hers is awash in colors from the night sky. He has to be able to see her face now. He might only get this one chance and he wants to remember her every feature.

“Tell me you don’t know that I love you.”

She doesn’t speak, just stares at him with her eyes larger than he’s ever seen. He can hear her breathing even over the sound of the waterfall.

“Am I really so bad at expressing what you mean to me? You look so surprised.” He sounds so disappointed in himself. The sound in his voice snaps her out of her shock.

“No of course not, I know you do. It’s just that I just can’t believe it. I mean, what could you possibly see in _me_. When I look in the mirror all I see is this broken, used up shell that couldn’t possibly have anything to offer you.

“But you already know it? You know I do?”

“Yes.”

“Can I say it, then? Is that okay?”

It’s almost too much, how gently he’s talking to her like a wild animal that might spook at the wrong word. She can see how badly he wants to tell her, but he’s always thinking of her feelings above her own. He doesn’t want to cause her pain.

“Yes,” she manages to breathe out just loud enough for him to hear her. She wants to hear those words come from his lips more than she wants to live and breathe. And not just to hear them in passing, but for him to say them to her.

He holds her face in his hands and he kisses her once; barely more than his lips brushing gently against hers. 

“Cara, I love you.”

She smiled, he saw it. The corners of her mouth raised up and the little lines around her eyes he adores so much blossomed as her smile grew. His face mirrored hers and he felt himself smiling too.

But then as fast as the smile had bloomed on her lips, her face crumpled, and she buried herself in his chest after he managed to catch a glimpse of wetness in her eyes.

_Fuck, he had pushed her too far. For a second she had looked so happy, and then …….he wasn’t sure what happened._

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, I won’t say it again. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I know you don’t like those words, please don’t cry. I thought I couldn’t go another day without telling you, but I didn’t think it would make you so upset. Forgive me.”

She’s shaking her head against him. “No, it’s not that. Your words are perfect. I want to hear you say it again. It’s not that.”

“Then what?” He feels confused, like he’s losing control of this conversation.

“Just shut up and tell me again, Din.”

“Are you going to cry again? Because that’s not quite the reaction I was going for, to be honest.”

She laughs, and he’s glad he hadn’t screwed this up irreparably.

“I love you,” he says, and when she smiles again it’s genuine, he can feel it.

He’s trying to put the pieces together to figure out what made her upset. “It doesn’t sound scary when you say it,” she says, and she’s smiling. “Or maybe it’s just your stupid voice….”

“That’s because it’s not. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever said.”

He’s holding her loosely now, his arms wrapped around her as she rests against his chest.

“I’m sorry, Din” she says and it’s so sincere it makes his chest ache. _What could she possibly be sorry for?_

“For what?” he asks, hoping she’ll let him know what’s bothering her.

  
“For being so broken I can’t even say it back,” she states like it was so obvious he should have figured it out for himself. She’s not done though. “I’ve ruined it; your moment, your surprise, your night, all of it. I’m so sorry. I wish I was better than this. I feel it Din, I do. What _you_ feel, what you just _said_ …..you know that right?” She says the last part like she’s desperate for him to acknowledge what she feels but can’t say.

“Yes, I know it, of course I do” he says believing it one hundred percent. “You’re not that subtle,” he teases her, trying to lighten the mood to let her know he’s not disappointed in her at all even though she feels she let him down somehow.

“I’m sorry I’m so messed up. I hate myself for being like this.” He can practically taste her self-loathing at this point.

“Bullshit. You didn’t ruin anything. This was about _me_. I wanted you to know what you meant to me without dancing around it anymore. You don’t have to say anything. I’m not expecting any words in return.”

“I know I don’t have to!

That’s just it. I want to, I just can't! “

She tugs at her hair in frustration hard enough it had to hurt.

She’s angry (at herself, he knows), but maybe this is what she needs. To get angry to get this all out in the open so they can work on it together.

“Don't you think I don't know how awful that is?” she asks him desperately. “That I don’t know it's only a matter of time before you've had enough, and I still can’t say it even though I want to? You might say it’s not awful, but I know it is!”

He’s stuck on what she just said in the middle of everything else he’s trying to catalog to make sense of.

“Enough?” he asks in confusion. “Enough of what?” he needs clarification, he has no clue what she’s saying.

“Enough,” she says like it’s obvious.

When he doesn’t follow, she gestures to herself and says, “enough of _me_. When you give up, grow tired of my bullshit emotional issues; move on to someone else who can say it easily, someone who's not as damaged as me. You deserve someone like that. Someone who can say it as easily as you just did.”

She smiled sadly. “It was perfect by the way.”

He can’t stand to see her like this. She’s not broken; he can hear everything she wants to say just looking at how sad she is at her inability to do so. 

_How can he possibly convince her that she’s perfect the way she is? He had a whole speech planned out; but like everything else, it’s gone straight to hell and he has to think quick on his feet to keep up with her. He kind of loves it. It’s so her to toss all his plans out the window._

“Look at him.” He gestures to where Bean lies sleeping in his metal cradle. “Do you think he loves me?” he asks her, waiting for her response.

“Yes, of course I do.” She lets out an irritated huff at how easy his question was. He’s changing the topic for _that_? Of course, she knows Bean loves him. What is he getting at?

He changes his question slightly to ask her, “do you think I know he loves me, then?”

“Yes, of course,” she answered again easily. _It’s so obvious._

“But how do you know?” he asks her. “He can't speak. He can't say the words.” He pauses a second for his words to register in her head. They’re both getting emotional and he gives her time to really think about what he’s saying. Din tried to fill in the blanks in case she’s not making the connection, “I know it from everything else; his actions, his affection, his body language.”

It clicks. “Oh my god, you are _not_ comparing me to a baby right now,” she states, irritated but amused at his comparison. _It was actually pretty clever._

“It's a metaphor, don't get lost in the details,” he says, and sees a smile creep up one side of her lips.

“Cara, truly, the _words_ don't matter; it's the sentiment, the feeling that does. And yeah, I just compared you to the cutest sentient being that's ever lived. Deal with it.” 

“He is pretty cute,” she concedes, appreciating what he’s trying to tell her.

Din’s not done though. “You say this all the time but I have to ask…….Can you go the rest of your life, knowing me, being with me, without seeing my face?”

“Yes,” she answers vehemently, with so much conviction and without a second of hesitation.

That’s the easiest question he’s ever asked her. His face _is_ the helmet, the skin underneath is just a bonus. She’s never felt he was hiding who he is, because the helmet is him.

Din asks her to confirm, “that's a fact, right? It's your reality, not up for me to debate if I disagree? It's not subjective, it just is?”

“Yes, of course. I can see you without seeing your face.”

“Then here's another fact for you,” Din says in preparation of hammering his point home. He takes her face in his hands. “Trust me when I say I can go the rest of _my life_ , knowing and feeling your love without hearing the words. It’s no different.”

She opens her mouth to argue, she’s not even sure why, but he cuts her off.

He repeats, “It's no different. That’s my reality, not up for you to debate. It's not subjective, it just is.”

“Okay.” She agrees with him and he’s shocked. She’s never liked being wrong, but she was more than happy for him to be right this time.

“Tell me what you’re afraid of, Cara. Not because I think you need to be fixed, but because I can’t stand to see you hate yourself like this.”

It’s her turn to talk and she actually feels like talking about this for the first time ever. She’s not sure why that is. It probably has something to do with the kindest man she’s ever met patiently trying to understand her even after she’s ruined the wonderful surprise he had planned.

If he’s ever going to laugh at her, at least she’ll give him something to laugh about. She takes a breath, bites the inside of her cheek and starts to try to explain why she was so messed up when it came to the words he just said so beautifully, without fear.

“Nothing has ever mattered to me since Alderaan. I've lost things over and over again and it never mattered; I never gave a shit. But this……….,” she pauses to gesture between them helplessly. “This is something that actually matters to me.”

This damn planet must have some kind of magical presence, the way she feels she wants to open up to him now.

“This is something I don't want to lose. Something I've fought to have, to keep, to be good enough for. If it was taken from me, it would destroy me.

“Don’t get me wrong, Alderaan was my home, but it was a _thing_ I was born a part of. It wasn’t something I chose, something I _discovered_ I wanted to fight for, or something I _wanted_. It wasn’t something that _wanted me_ in return, as broken and damaged as I was. You made me forget...........I didn't think that was even possible.

“Now……

I don’t know what I’m afraid of, now. It’s all so blurry in my head. Maybe it’s you being taken away, you seeing me as the monster everyone else does, you laughing at me when you realize how bad at this I am when I fuck it all up…… all of the above?”

She’s doing a terrible job of explaining this but he’s just standing there listening to her as calm as she’s ever seen him.

“Look Din, if you leave because you don't want me anymore that'd be okay.”

_She won’t lie to him. Not now._

“No, that's bullshit! It would destroy me, but I could live with it knowing you were happy. 

But to know I ruined it……

That I messed it up, it was a defect in me that pushed you away.…..

That I wasn’t enough…….

That I tried and failed to make you happy.....”

He has to cut her off right there, before she gets herself even more worked up. He can hear her voice staring to crack.

“Okay, it’s my turn to talk again. Is that okay?”

She nods, thankful for the reprieve, for him to take over again and explain why she had nothing to fear. She’s glad he’s so talkative today. He seems like he really has things figured out and she needs that right now.

“Of all of those things you just said, let's start with it being taken away....

I can't guarantee that won't happen, _everyone dies_ , but I don't want there to be things unsaid at the end of the day. I don’t plan on going anywhere.

“Next seeing you as a monster.....

You are no monster, Cara. You are kind and generous and patient. Finding you, discovering you, knowing you, growing closer together; the crazy shit we went through, the pair of us, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I mean including the kid. He's my son, _our son,_ and yes, he taught me what it was like to be a father, to put someone else's needs above my own, but you showed me _everything_ else: what it was like to laugh, to not be alone, to want to be better so you would notice it and think better of me.” He has to take a breath to continue. “What it was like to think about myself and the future and what I want out of life. It's not just money and providing to the clan, that’s bullshit. It’s all about loving life and feeling like I matter to people and making them feel like they matter to me. Even if they’re terrible with words….

She laughs at that, and she can’t believe that in the middle of this emotional river of shit, he can still manage to make her laugh. 

“Next, laughing at you.....

I have never laughed so much in my life when I’m with you, but I'd never laugh at you about something like this. Something that causes you pain will never be funny to me. Not when I can see how much it hurts you.

“And you _won’t_ ruin this. How could you? You made this. You think you're the only one who changed for the better the day we met? The only one who forgot all the bad shit at their heels? 

You won't mess it up because no matter what, we can fix it. You and me, if there’s trouble we deal with it. We're damn good at dealing with trouble aren’t we?”

She nods, feeling a lot of her anxiety melt away as he lays it all out and shows her he’s paying attention to her every worry, not just brushing them off.

“You were my first real friend Cara, then my best friend, then my partner who I trust more than anyone else.”

“And now?” she asks, finally contributing to the conversation again. Din’s doing pretty good carrying it all by himself. This is the best kind of conversation.

“Now you're my _family_ , this beautiful, strong, caring, confident, sarcastic woman that I love. We're a clan of 3. We have been for a while. Can I say that?” _Damn this man, still moving so cautiously in case his words might upset her_

“Yes, I like that,” she nods.

“And as far as me being happy without you, that's ridiculous. I couldn't be happy without you. You're the one who showed me what happiness was. I've lived without you, before I knew you and it wasn't really living; it was breathing, eating, hunting, and sleeping, on repeat. I never want to go back to a time before you came in and turned everything on its head. You woke me up, you literally knocked the air out of me. My head still rings from time to time since Sorgan.”

She smiles despite herself. He always complains about that, and it makes this seem like every other casual conversation they’ve ever had.

“And after I grew close to you it was even worse having to leave you behind, on Sorgan and then Navarro. It was horrible. I felt empty, like I was missing party of myself, the _best_ part of myself. I couldn't even be parted from you for a couple of months before I came begging you to join me again, to be by my side once more. You remember what a complete mess I made of that conversation, right?” She can’t help but laugh at the memory of his completely awkward and endearing ‘speech’ he gave so long ago now. When she’s feeling particularly bad at words like she is now, she remembers that moment to cheer herself up.

“Everything that's happened to bring us together time and time again; we must be meant to be together, don't you think?”

She nods, quite taken aback by his soliloquy. Since when had he been so well-spoken? “The universe does seem to prefer the scenario in which were together rather than apart.”

“It does,” he agrees, “and so do I.”

She seems remarkably calm.

“I don’t disagree with anything you said, and I actually do feel better, but I still wish I could say it.”

 _Couldn't he see she was struggling? Could he not see that she wanted to say it, she was just incapable on her own? ‘_ _I need your help, please see it. If you’ve ever seen through me and my blustering, my bullshit, my posturing, please see this. Come on, please…… do something_.’ She sees the silhouette of his face tilt almost imperceptibly as he studies her.

He’s sees something in her face, like she’s waiting for him to say or do something to get her to talk again. _Is she asking for his help? Is that what that look is?_

Din looks at her again before making a suggestion. “What about this, you want to make it a contest to see who can be the biggest sappiest idiot? I already told you all the things I love about you. I bet you can’t name 5 things you love about me. I’ll even help you out- there must be a lot of things: my cooking, my beard, my superior ground game?”

She full on laughs at him now, her head thrown back and everything. Not just at his crazy game, but that he knew exactly what she needed. _Who else in the entire galaxy would have seen through her?_

He can’t help but wind her up even more as he says, “though I am pretty much the king of romance, so I'm pretty sure I'll be better at this than you. Does that stir up your competitive streak like I thought it would?”

She grins at him the most self-satisfied and predatory grin he’s ever seen.

“Fine, it’s my turn then.....It’s definitely not your cooking and your ground game is terrible.”

He’s the one laughing now and it makes her heart feel twice as large as it did five minutes ago. She strategically left out his beard. _Of course she did._

“I love your stupid face,” she says.

“You can't see my stupid face,” he counters but she snaps back, “I see your stupid face just fine.”

“That’s one,” she starts keeping score.

“I love the stupid wrinkles at the corners of your eyes when you smile,” she provides next.

“You calling me old? You’re only a couple of years behind me, keep that in mind.” He’s smiling and she’s smiling along with him. _This is great._

“That’s two.”

“I love your stupid armor and the stupid cape.”

“I knew you loved the cape,” he says so smugly she wants to wipe his grin right off his smug, stupid face.

“That’s three and four”

“I love your dumb voice and I love your sense of humor and your level head.”

Din is silent now. She’s taking this on all by herself. He can’t believe this worked. This is what she had needed.

“I love how patient you can be, watching you with the kid. Your view of right and wrong; you’re never vengeful even when I expect you to be. Your strength; it’s apparent without the need for boasting or pride. You ask for help when you need it and you innately respect everyone you meet. The way you think about my needs and not just your own. The way you look at me; make me feel like I'm better than I am. The way you listen to me, the way you touch me. The way you look at me like I'm something.”

She takes a breath and he’s sure she’s done. He almost makes a smartassed comment until he hears her next words.

“I love _you_ , you idiot and I hate that I can’t even make myself say it.”

Din felt all the oxygen leave his lungs.

“What?”

“……..what did you just say?”

He didn’t expect she would actually say anything close to that. It was just supposed to be a fun game to take the edge off and get them both laughing. _Did she even notice? Should he pretend he didn’t hear it, or did she say it on purpose so he would?_

“I called you an idiot,” she says, not missing a beat. She was smiling. _She was smiling!_

“No, before that….” he says, and wait to see how she’ll play this.

_This was it......_

“That I love you.” _She didn’t die, the world didn’t end, and he wasn’t laughing at her. So far so good._

“Do you? Do you really?” Din can’t help but ask as he gets ahead of himself.

_Wait, what the hell was he doing, already pressuring her to say it again. Shut up Din!_

“No, wait! You don't have to say it again. Do you want me to pretend you never said it? I will if you want me to.”

That was a bold-faced lie, one of the few he could ever remember telling her. For as long as he lived, he would never forget the sound of those words coming from her lips. 

“Are you kidding me?” she asks, like he must have suffered a head injury.

“After all of _that_ you better remember it for a damned long time. I do, I just can't I say it for shit.”

“You did a pretty good job just now. I got all misty eyed and everything,” he says, with a smile in his voice she can make out as clear as day. He's only slightly teasing her; his eyes do feel suspiciously wetter than usual and his vision was a little blurry. It was enough to make her laugh though.

“Shut up Din, I _will_ take it back,” she says with a playful shove to his chest. “And stop crying, I don't want you rusting in there when you put that thing back on.”

“I can’t help it. I might weep forever at how great you are with words. Look at you…”

“I'll give you something to cry about if you keep it up,” She warns him, but it’s so clear she’s playing with him he catches both of her hands and hold them tenderly. He pushes his face into the side of her neck so she can hear and feel him snickering at how happy he is. 

“I'm sorry I'm so bad at saying it. But I do, I have for such long time. I never thought I’d ever have anything like this and it's not exactly something I've practiced or trained for. _Leave it to her compare a declaration to training for battle._ “I wish I could have done better letting you know it. You deserve better than that, better than someone like me.” 

“There’s no one I’d rather have than you.”

“You’re a dork.”

“I may be a dork, but with a breakthrough like that, this dork is proud of you. What kind of reward do you want? Candy, flowers, a new knife, or something more personal…… his hands grab her hips and pull her into him so that her entire front is pressed against his.

She snorts out loud. “You flatter yourself. I'm totally immune to your charms, Djarin.”

“Let me kiss you and then tell me how immune you are to my charms. Oh wait, when I kiss you, you can’t talk because I leave you so breathless, so that won’t work.”

“Why don’t you go and _flatter_ yourself?”

He is chuckling against her neck as he says huskily, “I haven’t needed to _flatter_ myself for weeks.”

She’s biting her tongue so hard trying not to cackle at him. “I hate you so much right now.”

“No. you don't. I have it on good authority you love me, I heard you say it yourself.” 

………………………………..

Continued in Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I'd love to hear your thoughts if you enjoyed it.  
> Comments make my day!


	3. Back on Course

She watched Din getting the campsite ready for them to turn in. He was so thoughtful. He checked on Bean before returning to place their pillow on the most even ground he could find. She was watching him half-heartedly now though; her thoughts had turned inward a long time ago.

She was determined now. She _would_ say it. Throughout the entirety of the most emotionally exhausting conversation of her life, he had never once pressured her. He truly meant what he said; that he could live happy without hearing her say the words, but she wanted to say it even more now. Her words earlier, “I love you, you idiot” were not good enough for everything he meant to her. She could do better. She would do better.

She would say these difficult words to this man, who challenged her and comforted her, who pushed her to be better but didn't think less of her when she couldn't manage it. Who laughed with her and sparred with her both verbally and physically, who made her question her life of solitude and guilt. He made her feel beautiful in a way that went deeper than just her skin. How could she possibly repay him? How could she make him feel even a fraction of what she felt? She was terrible at talking about things like this, but then again it had never mattered like it did right now. Could she really go another day without telling him she loved him? No, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

She would push down her discomfort at exposing herself and waiting for rejection, for him. _Only for him_. He wouldn't hurt her; wouldn't laugh at her, wouldn't tell her didn't feel the same way and reject her. What was she afraid of anymore anyway? It was clear to any outsider she loved him. Why did the words scare her so badly? If she said it out loud, would the universe take him away from her? Would he suddenly decide he changed his mind and leave? Laugh at her and ask, ‘how could I ever love somebody so used up and broken’? Hadn’t he broken down all those arguments just this very night? Everything she had been afraid of he had debunked and put her mind at ease.

  
  
She would do it, not to prove her bravery, but for him. _She would do it for him._ Everything she did was for him. She would suffer and embarrassment, pain, and ridicule, just to see him smile, to hear it in his voice even if she could never see it. To make him happy was all she wanted. When did she become such a sap? She blames it on the cute kid.

Din went to straighten the sleeping bags he had opened up flat in the clearing far enough from Bean and the sound of the waterfall that they would be able to talk. He was opening up the last of the sheets and laying it down when he felt her eyes on him. “I’m just going to get the top covers so we can lay down,” he says as he turns to their storage box.

“Wait Din,” she says to stop him from moving away and he freezes. She walks over to stand on the edge of the blanket with him, their bare feet crinkling the edge together. She raises her hands to his cheeks and works out where his eyes must be so she can look into them.

When she doesn’t say anything he asks, “what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Her hands are sweating but she doesn’t let go of his face.

“I love you.”

If she expected him to act shocked or make a big deal out of it, she was pleasantly surprised.

She can feel his cheeks as he smiles though she can’t see it. “I love you too.”

Her whole body feels the warmth radiating out of her chest, but that wasn’t the apocalyptic moment she had been expecting. Where was the rain of fire? The earthquake, the explosions? _That was easy. Could it have really been that easy? Could it be that easy again?_

“What do we do now?” she asks

“I don't know,” he laughs. “I don't have any clue what the hell I'm doing here at all. Literally that blind leading the blind.” 

They both laugh then and she feels everything that was tight relax slightly. 

“But I know whatever the next step is, I want to do it with you. Is that enough of a path?”

“Of course. Just don't get upset when I really suck at it,” she says.

Din has an answer for that. “We can suck at it together and then get better at it together and laugh when we mess up. Or if _that_ doesn't do it for you, we can just start writing obnoxious, sappy, love notes to each other until one of us vomits.”

“Don’t make me laugh Din, this is supposed to be serious”

“I always want to make you laugh. There’s nothing so serious that we can’t laugh about it.”

“You may be blind, but I've followed you into scarier situations than this, why stop now?”

Din looks at the embers that had long since burned out. “It’s getting late, and I don’t think I’ve ever talked this much in my life. My throat is going to be sore tomorrow, not to mention my feet. You want to lie down for the night?”

They lie down on the blankets splayed out over the ground and curl around one another as if they were still in the cramped space of their bunk. “Don’t you want me to get the blankets for cover?”

  
“Are you kidding me, it’s sweltering. We would bake. Besides it’s kind of nice, just the sheet underneath us and the sky above us. It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“It is. I’m glad we could see it together.”

“This was all you. I can’t tell you how impressed I am you pulled this off. Come here so I can show you. I’m not _that_ tired.”

She turns so that she is facing him and leans forward to kiss him softly. She thinks he’s content to just kiss her sweetly in return, but when her leg slides between his and she pulls him over her, he sinks his fist into her hair and breaks the kiss to pant in her ear.

“Cara, what are you doing? We’re supposed to be going to sleep.”

“I’m getting ready for bed right now,” she says as she peels her shirt up and over her head. “I’m just getting undressed for bed. Aren’t you hot? I know I am,” she says, as she shimmies out of her pants with him still half on top of her.

“I know you are too, so fucking hot.”

“That joke is going to get old one day, but not today. Keep talkin’Din.”

“I’m not joking. Even in this low-level light you’re gorgeous. Even in the dark you’re breathtaking.”

“Kiss me.”

He does. Over and over again until they’re both breathing so heavy, they can only hear each other over the sound of the rushing water. She reaches up to help him get his own shirt off before reaching down to his pants and finally his shorts. The gratuitous wriggling they have to do against each other to undress while laying down may not be entirely unintentional and they have to stop kiss and nip at each other’s necks when the pressure becomes too great during their disrobing to keep their hands off each other.

He slides her panties down her legs and tosses them somewhere near the pile of clothes they’re started. It feels completely strange to be naked without a blanket over them but not at all uncomfortable for some reason. Afterall, they’re covered in each other, they don’t need a blanket.

Even with the blanket they’re lying on, she can feel all the pebbles and little sticks of the forest floor digging into her back, but it just adds to the overwhelming sensation of being here in this moment with him. She wouldn’t change it for anything.

The unrushed atmosphere of this planet has seeped into them already. He keeps his open-mouthed kisses sweet and loving as she sinks her hands into his hair. Given their lack of clothes, she’s surprised at how satisfied she is just chasing his tongue with her own and he lays over her. It can only last so long though, as she’s the first one to let out a moan as he shifts to get his forearm under her neck to gain better leverage on his elbow. From there it was like a dam broke.

His hand is so warm as it cups her cheek to change the angle of their kiss and pull a very different moan from her. She arches against him and manages to get one of her own bare legs between his, to grind against him. He gasps out loud and it forces his mouth to break from hers, but he uses the chances to kiss down her neck, sinking his teeth into her soft flesh just enough to make her cry out before he gets to her collarbone. His tongue is rubbing against it in long flat strokes that make her brain go fuzzy, superimposing where she wants his mouth. His hand under her neck is still trapped, but that doesn’t stop his free hand from grabbing greedy handfuls of her breast as he kneads her so sweetly she can barely remember he only has the use of one hand. She runs her hands down the muscular curve of his shoulders and down to feel the muscles working over the back of his ribcage and he stretches to get his mouth on her swollen nipple.

Her hands are back in his hair again, holding on as he works her further into a frenzy just kissing her chest. She doesn’t need to use her hands to guide him at all. He’s making her mind go dark with want, and her mouth go dry with her open-mouth gasps. He lets go the delicious suction he was applying to slide his tongue over her sensitive peak again and again, and she thinks she’s going to come from just this.

“Din, Please,” she begs him, her voice so loud in the quiet clearing of the forest. She opens her eyes and the bright shifting colors are almost too much stimulus and she slams them closed again.

“Din, Please,” she repeats as he seems he has no intention of ever moving from that one spot. His hand is sweaty as he kneads and squeezes her breast in concert with the ministrations of his mouth.

She throws her head back, totally surrendering that this is how he’s going to finish her until he abruptly pulls his arm out from under hear and scoots down her body, forgoing his favorite stop of her belly button, to get his mouth between her legs.

“Fuck!” She yells out at the sudden sensation, completely oblivious to everything other than the feel of his mouth, his lips, and his god damned tongue as he all but devours her with his intensity. A whole imperial squadron could walk by right now and she couldn’t keep quiet. _His mouth. Holy shit._

There’s so much more room than their bunk and he takes advantage of it to spread out to make himself comfortable. His hands are wrapped around her thighs and he splays her legs wider just because he can in this luxurious ‘bed’ and the needy sound she makes is an instant reward.

After she crashes down from her first wave of pleasure, she thinks he’ll make some smartassed comment about his prowess and lay down beside her, but he doesn’t let up at all. He’s moaning, and sighing, and gasping against her in his exuberance to please her. _What’s gotten into him?_ She’s quickly barreling toward the next release when she tugs him by his hair and his shoulders up her body to kiss him on the mouth.

Her legs wrap around his hips and she’s so ungodly wet he slides against her perfectly. It’s his turn to let out a gasp, finally, as she shifts up slightly and manages to get him against the part of her that’s been desperate for him all this time.

It takes nothing at all for him to slip partly inside her as she gasps against his open mouth as they kiss hungrily, breathing the same warm air between them. His answering gasp is like music when he has to rest his forehead against her shoulder to gather himself.

“I want you,” she whispers against the side of his hair and he turns his head into her neck to mumble words that sounds suspiciously like “I want you too,” into her skin.

“Then take me, come on. I want you, Din.”

“Are you sure, there’s no going back fro----"

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“I love you.” He manages to say softly in the middle of the heat and passion burning between them, brighter than any lights in the sky.

“I love _you_ ,” she says back, without even a moment of hesitation.

_That alone is enough for him._

He pulls her legs up higher on his waist and sinks into her deeper, before pausing to allow her to adjust only to gain more ground with the next press of his hips.

She was shaking like she had never known a man before. Maybe she hadn’t, not really anyway. _Certainly, never a man like him._ This kind-hearted man who respected her too much to pull his punches when they sparred. This man who wasn’t intimidated by her strength, but reveled in it, worshipped it even. The way he looked at her made her feel new, like all the bad shit in her past didn’t matter, just who she was in this very moment. She felt like a teenager -everything new and intense and struck absolutely dumb with lust. But it was more than just lust; lust was simple. What they had been cultivating all this time was anything but. It was amazing and complex, and easy. It was soft and tactile, not just desire but togetherness and an understanding of each other that went deeper than the warmth creeping down her belly. She loved him

“Tell me if I’m hurting you,” he says, and his voice is totally wrecked. She almost wants to laugh at that. The only way he would hurt her was if he decided to stop. She feels full in a way she can’t even begin to describe. Not just in the physical sense of his body inside hers, but existentially as well. She feels so full of life, of him, of love, of comfort, of home and pleasure it almost makes her tear up.

He kisses her on the mouth again as his hips finally settle fully seated against hers and they both shift and make fine adjustments to get comfortable. When he starts moving desperately, she literally sees stars, but she can’t be sure if they’re the ones in the sky or just the ones behind her eyelids. It was like they had been joined like this for ages. Their hands and mouths were everywhere, and they seemed to instinctively know how to push and pull to make each other fall apart. He’s clutching her thigh so hard she’ll feel it tomorrow, but the way he’s holding her perfectly to get her leg up to his chest as he gives her everything he has makes her eyes roll back and she cant remember what the word ‘tomorrow’ even means anymore.

Neither of them last very long as the pressure and the slide and the overall pleasure is too much, and they fall over this new cliff together for the first time. Their hearts are racing and they’re gasping for air; it almost feels like they’re dying, but they’ve never felt so alive. He’s collapsed on top of her, barely able to put any weight on his elbows to keep from crushing her. They’re soaked with sweat and she feels a whole other level of wetness she’ll have to contend with later, but for now they just catch their breath. They kiss once more once they can breathe again and he rests his forehead against hers.

She’s the one who starts laughing first and he can’t help but join her as the night finally catches up with him. Laughter is their weird go-to thing apparently, but it feels so warm and content he doesn’t want it to stop. He rolls onto his back and pulls her to lay across his chest, the sensation of cooling sweat making them both cringe and start laughing again. They’re enjoying the quiet of the forest and they finally notice the sound of the waterfall again. The colors in the sky are a perfect backdrop for the beauty they just shared but she refuses to admit that out loud. _He would make fun of her so hard. She smiles just thinking about it. He would be so smug._

////

Hours later Din is awoken by an equally sleepy Cara kissing his neck and she pulls him on top of her and simply says, “again.” She’s still so wet, from her or from him he doesn’t know, but it takes no convincing on his part to lose himself inside her again.

////

Just before the sun rises, Cara being the light sleeper she is, feels Din kiss the back of her neck. She would be sore tomorrow from their enthusiastic hunger for each other, but she couldn’t care less. This was the best kind of sore she had ever felt. The pebbles digging into her back slightly less so….

She turns her head to kiss him and they way she pulls him onto her leaves no doubt about what she wants. “Cara, the sun’s about to come up, we should sleep.”

“We can sleep when we’re dead. Come on.”

“I don’t know how old you think I am but I’m not sure I have it in me.” She shifts against him experimentally and the grin on her face is positively criminal when she sucks on his neck and says “it seems to me like you have it in you, and I’m not even going for the obvious dirty joke just waiting to be said. Aren’t you proud of me?”

He laughs out loud and leans down to kiss her hungrily _. How can he possibly be up for another round, he asks himself in wonder? He wants her so much, that’s how; and to be honest he’s a little impressed with himself._ He’s already reaching down between them as he rolls her over to her back, but she rolls them back over again instead.

“I tell you what, you spoil me all the time. How about I spoil you this time?” Her words barely have time to register is his lust-filled or just Cara-filled brain, before she’s flipped him flat onto his back and thrown a leg over his waist to straddle him. _Oh, yeah. He loves this. She can spoil him any time she wants._ When she sinks down on him and bites her lip as she sets a pace that will get them both off, he tosses his head back and questions how he got so lucky. Like this, he can run his hands over her, and he takes full advantage to touch her hair, her lips, her breasts and reach between them to make her cry out. When he reaches between them more purposefully, her wetness is all over his hand as he works her into such a fevered pitch that he almost feels bad for ruining her perfect rhythm and turning it into a clumsy, shaky, race toward release. The blanket is a lost cause by this point. They’ll probably have to just buy a new one.

By the time the sun’s come up neither of them have gotten more than a single hour of continuous sleep but they can’t help but smirk at one another when the kid wakes up, as alert, awake, and well rested as they’ve ever seen him. Once they get back in the air and sadly leave this place behind, they can sleep in shifts until they can function again.

……………………………..

Back on the Crest.

They had left the forest moon thankful for the new appreciation they had of the nebula, nature, and each other, but it was time to continue their journey to Nevarro to see if any of the leads they had come across would pan out. They returned to hyperspace and they had taken turns sleeping and caring for Bean until they could get back on the same schedule the next day.

However, they obviously hadn’t learned their lesson as they woke up the following morning and practically got themselves back in a similar situation.

They were breathing heavily curled together in their bunk. He was insatiable now. He couldn’t get enough of her no matter how many times she cried out under him. Her heel had dug so far into his shoulder blade yesterday she had left a bruise, but he didn’t care in the least. He was addicted to her. He was drowning in her and he loved it. They had already made love in their bunk that morning, before he put his mouth on her again. When he crawled his way back up her body, the thin layer of sweat letting his skin slide easily over hers, her hands were waiting to take his face and kiss him on the mouth. As she sighed into his mouth, she sank back into the pillows bringing him down to lay on top of her. “Do we get to wake up like that everyday?” She was expecting him to make a joke but he surprised her.

“Yes,” he states.

“Every…..” _He kissed her on her mouth_

“Single…..” _He kissed the edge of her lips_

“Day. ……..” _He kissed under her jaw and down her neck._

“Fuck, Din. Yes,” she breathes out, as she’s already straining under him again and she’s barely recovered from the last time.

“You want it _again_?” he confirms given how he can read her body now, as he starts kissing down her chest. “Has anyone ever told you you’re greedy?” he asked her so full of love and affection it took her breath away. _They might never leave their bunk again if this kept up. They had made love once already, and this would be the second time he worshipped her afterwards._

“ _Fuck_.” Before she gathered her senses, he was already down to her navel again.

She sank both of her hands into his hair as she braced herself. _She thought he was only kidding, he couldn’t possibly still be hungry for her after the previous two times._

“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s gotten into you?”

“You have.” He’s just teasing her at this point. Kissing her everywhere except where she wants him.

“Your beard is probably a mess.”

“I could always shave it.”

“Don’t you dare”

She was painfully sensitive, but god help her she was already growing desperate for him again as he scooted back down between her legs and his shoulders pushed against the underside of her thighs to get her where he wanted her. One hand curled around her thigh and the other splayed across her lower abdomen to keep her anchored. Unlike their loving 15 minutes ago that had been passionate and heated, this was gentle. The edge had already been taken off so they could both think clearly. He moved against her slowly and methodically. It was slow and sweet and he knew exactly what to do to drive her insane.

Unlike the first time which had been all fiery-hot desire, and want, and clumsy enthusiasm, by now he knew her body so well he played her like an instrument, knowing how to elicit moans, and sighs, and gasps from her when he wanted them. He knew the pressure she needed, the speed she liked, the part of his tongue to use at different times in his worship of her. She liked the flat rough swipes of his tongue he laid over her at the beginning, eliciting more pleasure from the texture than actual pressure, evolving to the insistent pressure of just the tip of his tongue as he zeroed in on where he knew would make her cry out; focusing his attention on that sweet spot that made her see stars and moan out his name until he was at the edge himself. At the end, when she was coming back down she loved his tongue laving her gently, ghosting over her; his lips moving against her as he mumbled nonsense into her; _how much he loved this, how sweet she tasted, teasing her about how she couldn’t stay still._

This time her pleasure built slowly and relentlessly. Instead of a wave hitting her so hard she barely saw it coming, she felt this building slowly and building steadily, ebbing and flowing like the ocean as he lazily worshipped her with his mouth. He wasn’t hurried at all and she didn’t know if somehow that made it more arousing than the heated desperate movements of his tongue earlier; like he was starving and she was the only thing that could keep him alive.

They were finally satiated almost an hour later and they hunkered down for a quick powernap before the kid came to wake them up.

“I love you.” It just slipped out. _How was it so easy now?_

“I love you too, Cara.”

…………………………………

Their course to Nevarro is laid in and they just have days to pas until they get there. They have a lot riding on what they find there and he’s glad they have some time to relax before the reason for their mission can’t be avoided anymore. Din is lost in thought as Cara still lays sleeping. He remembers the last time they had traveled there together and the shit that had gone down. It’s not a linear memory though, it more like chunks of images and memories and feelings all jumbled up. That day had been horrible.

**

The walk into the city with his hands in binders was almost an out off body experience. He never imagined he would let himself in this position, but he would do anything for that kid. The only thing that made it tolerable was that Cara stood beside him. He gave up his defenses because he knew she had him covered. Greef had his blaster but he wasn’t worried. He was more worried about her than himself at this point anyway. Her arm was covered at Greef’s suggestion, but her face and her tattoo were visible clear as day.

**

 _Well shit._ They were trapped and there were a hell of a lot more than 4 stormtroopers out there with blasters aimed at them. If the situation hadn't been so dire, he would have loved to turn around and tease her about her name. It was beautiful and feminine, and it sounded soft when he rolled it around in his mouth. No wonder she hated it. He couldn't wait for the occasion to say it to her face.

**

It was only after a moment he registered the rest of what this Imperial leader had said. Cara Dune of _Alderaan_.

_Oh Cara...........he thought with a heavy heart._

It made sense now. His heart clenched as it all came together in his mind.

Her understanding when he described the genocide of his people; how lost he had felt when he had struck out on his own way from his clan. She had been surprisingly easy to talk to, almost empathetic when he spoke of his past. _Of course she understood._ He had to force himself not to look at her, knowing she wouldn't appreciate his eyes on her when something so personal was just revealed. He would allow her this small privacy, and bring it up later when they were alone.

“…..the decommissioned Mandalorian Bounty hunter Din Djarin…..”

His own name. It should have made him feel exposed, but she wouldn't hold it against him. If he asked her to pretend she never heard it, he knew she would. But he _wanted_ her to know it, he just wished it had been on his own terms. He had thought of telling her so many different ways, and now he wouldn’t get the chance; the knowledge was out there now. Either way, if they were about to die ,he was glad she knew it. 

Greef was better with a blaster than he had thought. If the 3 of them couldn’t shoot their way out of this, they were screwed.

He remembers the next part in choppy segments.

More enforcers came.

Cara’s voice saying, “this is bad.”

The E-Web.

**

There had been an explosion and he thought he was dead.

He was moving, how was he moving? _He was being lifted._ He could feel the arms under his own, hands wrapped around his chest. With all his armor on, he didn't know many people that could have lifted him like that. _Damn it Cara_. She was risking her life to get him out of the line of fire. What little he could focus on the world around him, blaster fire was everywhere and explosions were all around them. She should have left him; he wasn't going to make it. His legs weren't communicating with his brain. His head was in and out; vision, hearing, everything. He could feel blood running down his neck from somewhere underneath his helmet. Skull fracture? Likely.

The sunlight was suddenly gone and he worried he had lost his vision. No, that wasn’t right, he could still see. He was inside. Cara had dragged his dead weight across the open ground and managed to get him inside; to safety, if there was any chance he could live through this. Why was she so damned hard-headed. Couldn’t she see he was a lost cause? She wouldn't give up on him and he knew it, just as he wouldn’t give up on her if the tables were turned. Even after dragging her into this shit storm, probably to her death, she still believed in him.

He wished he had never brought her here. He told her she could live free of worry and these were going to be their last moments. The dark selfish part of his brain that still functioned was glad she was here though. He got to see her again and she was lying at his side holding his hand. Whenever he pictured his death the details were always nebulous. Some job, some bounty, some stupid risk he shouldn’t have taken…. but the only thing that remained constant was that he would be alone. Now, he would die with his helmet on and with his friend by his side. He wished he had more time, to make some kind of joke to erase that horrible look of worry and grief of her face. To tell her.....something…….. _anything_ that could have let her know what she had meant to him; what she had awoken in him without even realizing it, but his words were failing him. The best he could hope for would be to convince her to leave him and save herself. He almost chuckled at how ridiculous that sounded. She was the most stubborn person he had ever met….. how could he ever manage to make her leave him behind?

_He was conflicted, send her away or have her by his side at his last moments._

The kid was probably safe, at least there was that. If Cara could get out of here, he knew she would protect him like he was her own. They were pinned down though, none of them were getting out of here alive. And Cara was right, she couldn't be captured. She would shoot her way out and go down fighting. He didn’t want to live long enough to see her go down.

She was talking to him, now. He tried to focus what remaining energy he had on her voice. He had never heard it like this though. He's heard it so many ways...sleepy, laughing, angry, incredulous...

But this was almost frantic, trying to convince herself and him that he would be okay, even though he knew the promise to be empty. She was trying to comfort him. She wasn't being very convincing, but he appreciated the effort; she knew his time was up, she just didn't want to admit it.

“You just got your bell rung,” she says, and the smile she tried to give him was so sad he wanted to say something, do anything to wipe it off her face. That's not the smile she should have. She _knew_ he wasn’t going to make it; she had to, she was holding his hand. He could see the conflict in her face, and he knew what she was going to say even before she said it.

He knew she didn't take it lightly, but he was bleeding out, likely a skull fracture, and he wasn't sure he was strong enough to fight her if she insisted on removing it.

“I'm going to need to take this off.”

He knew, _knew_ , that she wouldn’t look at him. Why would she ever need to, she saw all of him already; the only one who ever had. Everything he was, tried to hide, aspired to be; it was all laid out for her and she saw it. He wished they had more time.

He could give her this. He would not burden her with his face even though he desperately wanted to lay eyes on her just once. She should never have to live with the knowledge he gave up something for her. The honorable death he always wanted seemed hollow now, with her begging him to come with her, to get up.

He'd forsake any sense of honor if it would prevent her from being hurt again, from having to lose someone else. It physically hurt him to hear her beg him “stay with me” when he so desperately wanted to; it felt like by not surviving, he was telling her he didn’t want to be by her side when nothing was further from the truth. If there was anything that could will his body to hang on, it was the promise of not letting her down. When he heard her trying to convince him, “we can make it,” he wanted to stay with her so badly he had actually tried to get up, despite knowing it was impossible. He had barely even twitched, that’s how far gone he was, but he tried one more time in case he might have managed to surprise her and stay by her side as they made for the tunnels. Her face would light up if he managed to stand, but he knew he couldn’t. He could at least hold a blaster though and manage to give her a minute head start by holding off a few stormtroopers a moment longer with his last breaths.

He wondered, if things had been different, could there ever have been anything between them. Could they have cautiously inched their way to something that better defined the feelings he had for her, something more than friendship? Could they have ever traveled together, spending lazy days in each other's company, simple and unhurried and domestic? Could she have ever grown to love him as he loved her? The hint of what he glimpsed in her eyes sometimes made him wonder if it might have already happened, maybe that seed had already been planted. Would losing him here, watching him slip away, be an even greater blow to her than that of losing a friend? He wanted to live, in the chance that there was even a possibility there could be something more.

_Stay with me._

He was so lost in thoughts of what could have been if they had been given more time, that when he came back to the smoke filled room, he had to regain his bearings. When had she taken off her glove? Her whole arm was bare, one of the few times he had ever seen it. He felt her fingers probing the top of his neck into the base of his skull, feeling their way through his hair. _When was the last time someone had touched his hair? He couldn't remember the last time._ His enjoyment was short lived though, when she pulled her hand back and saw her face pale as the sight of his blood hit her. The smell of it in his helmet was stifling. Her face was white and she pressed her lips into a thin line before reassuring him he would be fine. ‘Head wounds didn't just heal themselves,’ he wanted to joke with her, but he couldn't form the words. He knew that she knew how bad it was by the look on her beautiful face.

_Stay with me._

He never should have even given it a second thought, she didn't fight him at all when he insisted he die a warrior’s death with his helmet in place. She never saw the helmet anyway. She respected his wish and he saw her cringe when his words started slurring together and he tried stuttering out his wish for her to take the kid, Bean. _Fine, he actually called him that_. He wanted to tell her that to make her smile, but the words wouldn’t come. He was about to die the death every Mandalorian dreamed of, helmet intact and going out in a hard-fought battle, but all he could think about was that in his final moments he didn’t want to keep any part of himself from her. He wanted to give her everything, but she ended up giving him everything instead.

_Stay with me._

……………….

Back to the present

He shakes his head as he takes in the scene around him. Cara was holding bean against her chest walking the same line over and over to try to get him to sleep. This was what he'd been afraid he had missed out on as he lay dying. _This_. Cara in her sleep clothes, getting ready to join him in bed where she would just take them off again. The smell of her shampoo in the air from her bath earlier as he adjusted the last fine tuning of their trajectory, so they'd make it to their destination in the midday day 3 days after tomorrow.

She sat down beside him, and he placed his hand on Bean’s fuzzy head. Their combined presence seemed to be the final straw to send him off to sleep. He put his arm around her to savor the moment, they life they had now; the life they had created and worked toward, leading up to the best year of his life.

She thought of everything that had happened in the last few months; learning each other, enjoying the togetherness on a ship this size that would drive most people insane. She can barely remember the slow circling they had done, orbiting around each other, when they first caught a glimpse of something in each other that hinted there could be more. She remembers fondly how cautious they were and how they had come together. It was like they had lived this way for years; slow sleepy mornings pressed together, reveling in the warmth of naked skin. Breakfast, followed my morning stretching and workouts and teaching the kid whatever they could think of that held his attention. Taking jobs together and planning out the minutia of life, without it seeming boring in the least. And the nights.........

………………………………..

The night before they make port in Nevarro

“We have to be awake in 6 hours. It won’t do us any good to be tired.” Din, ever the pragmatist is in full planning-mode hours before they make their final descent.

“And would it do us any good to be so worked up we can’t think straight?” Cara asks him with one eyebrow raised.

“You might have a point,” Din concedes, seeing where this is going.

“What if we just lay down and kiss for a minute,” Cara suggests but the grin on her face gives away her plan.

“I can’t _just_ kiss you in that bed,” Din replies, knowing for a fact what that will lead to.

“Want to go shower then?” She asks, offering another suggestion.

“If the kid hears the water turn on, he’ll come running way faster than the length of his legs should allow,” Din reminds her, shooting down that location too.

“What about the cockpit? At least there’s a door,” she suggests, and he doesn’t immediately fire back with an argument, so she smiles at him.

She bites her lip and takes his hand, dragging him to the control deck. His brisk pace suggests he not being dragged at all.

As soon as the door’s closed she crowds into his space until he’s forced to sit down in the chair. She straddles him, her thighs squeezing his enticingly and she slings her hair to one side so she can kiss his neck.

The vision she paints in his lap is not unlike one of the women in the holovids he most-definitely did not watch when he was 18 and just discovered the net. She was so much hotter though; warm and real, and _his_. She takes his hand and places it against the warm soft skin of her breast under his shirt she’s wearing. He lets out a groan and pulls his hand back reluctantly. “Cara, we can’t. I want to but we can’t.”

“Why not?” She asks. “We can just get a little handsy.”

“Because if I taste you, smell you, feel you I won’t be able to stop,” he says, visibly arguing with himself as he kneads her gorgeous breasts as a second hand joins the first.

“And what if I don’t want you to stop?” She asks, against the skin of his neck underneath the edge of his helmet.

“You said you were sore. We should cool off for a few hours,” Din, reminds her, but mentioning that she was sore, immediately took his brain into a very visual replay of _exactly why_ she was sore, and he felt his blood rushing south in response.

“Don’t worry,” Cara assures him, “the kid has this supernatural ability to show up anytime we touch. _It’s uncanny._ I imagine we’ll have to stop anyway, but think about the few minutes where we don’t.” She grins as she kisses his neck with increases fervor. “And trust me, it’s an amazing kind of sore. “Why don’t you touch me and find out,” she says, as she unclasps the fastening on her pants.”

“You are cruel, and you know exactly what you are doing to me.” Her shirt had slipped off her shoulder. He let his fingers trace down her neck and the open neckline until he reached the curve of her uncovered shoulder. He ran his fingers over the line of dense scar tissue, the line of which he had stitched somewhat crookedly into her skin. _Damn her gorgeous breasts._

“You know you’re going to have too hold yourself back once we get there? We’ll be meeting with Greef for most of the day.” Din’s not looking forward to having to keep his hands off of her for even a few hours.

“Oh, I fully intend to sit just like this when we get there,” she comes back at him, shifting in his lap to make her point. “You want to bet which of us can make him the most uncomfortable?”

He throws his head back to laugh. “You’re on.”

She’s on top of him and all around him, and he’s never felt as relaxed as he does right now.

“You’re a force of nature Cara Dune and I love you.”

“If I’m ever mad at you, remind me of this moment,” she says smiling as she sits back to get a good look at him. She leans forward to rest her forehead against his as the memory of the nebula burns bright in her mind.

_I love you too_

………………………………….

The final approach to Nevarro

Cara was also on edge revisiting Nevarro again. Aside from the memory of Din returning for her and the hilariously awkward conversation that had convinced her to come along with him, there were nothing but painful memories of the last time she had landed there.

If she lets herself get lost in the memory she can still feel the smoke filling her lungs, feel the fire on her back as she shielded his broken body with her own in hopes of keeping his last moments as calm and painless as possible. All thought for herself had gone out the window when she realized his injury was the one that would take him away from her....and when he had just returned for her too. She thought things were finally going in her favor for once, but she should have known…… _Everyone that got close to her ended up dead._ She never should have allowed him to get past her defenses, to get this close. Seeing him again had been amazing though. She couldn't believe it was ending this way; holding his hand as the life literally drained from him as his kid held on to his boot.

He had refused to remove the helmet but no matter how much his death would have destroyed her, she could never betray the trust he had put in her. She would be different from everyone else who had betrayed him or sought a reason or excuse to force his helmet off to see his face. She would put his wants above her own. Everything in her was screaming to save him, despite anything that came out of his mouth, but she couldn't. The fire was getting hotter against her back, so she laid across him again to keep it off of him. At least it wouldn't be long now. They'd both be dead, and she would have made sure he went out like he wanted. Of all the ways she imagined dying, holding her friend as they were both consumed by fire where she could have run to safety, was not even on the list. She wished they had more time. She wanted to hear him laugh again, wanted to _make him_ laugh again. She'd even let him beat her in hand-to-hand combat if it meant he could live another day. The following moments flutter against her consciousness.

**

The moments she swore to protect the child, took the necklace he had given her and turned to look at him one last time were all a blur.

**

Seeing him again in the tunnels seemed like a fever dream. It couldn't actually be him stumbling toward her. He was almost gone when she left him, but there he was. She threw an arm under his shoulder to help him stand and to enjoy feeling him weakened, yet alive against her. 

Din’s voice at the door of the cockpit thankfully draws her out of her morbid memories. She hears him right beside her in the pilot’s chair as he asks, “you waiting until the very last minute to put your game face on? You seem distracted.”

“This is the only face I have, Din.” _He always knows what she needs to change her mood around._

“You know how I feel about your face,” he says playfully, hoping she’ll take the bait.

“That it’s perfectly ordinary, ugly even?” _Bingo._ He’s wanted to say this forever.

“I love your face and I love you. And there’s absolutely nothing ordinary about you.”

She thinks back to when the left the sanctuary of the moon near the Orion Nebula and entered deep space once more. She had been sad to see it go, but she would always remember the moments they had watched it together and how it had changed her. Not the nebula itself, but Din; his words, his arms, his grand gesture, his love. As they laid in their course, she had looked at the nebula one last time and then focused on him. She saw the colors reflected off the metal of his helmet and it was like she had never seen colors before. _Maybe she hadn’t. Maybe her life had always been in black and white until she met him._ Back in space, in the familiar cockpit of the Crest, everything seems the same and yet everything seems different. She can see more colors than she used to, and she sees beauty everywhere she looks now. She knows it’s because of this idiot that she met when she had least expected it. _It was funny how the universe worked sometimes._ She only hoped that their next stop would provide another chance for the universe to take pity on them. The thought of turning herself in suddenly seemed like a last resort. She couldn’t possibly leave them now. 

This wonderful art was made by [Mandalorianess](https://mandalorianess.tumblr.com/). Please check out her series of amazing edits

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I'd love to hear your thoughts if you enjoyed it.  
> Comments make my day!
> 
> See you next time.


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